Ethics Expert Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

153 Results for Ethics Expert

View 1 - 10 results for ethics expert comic strips. Discover the best "Ethics Expert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Technically Dilbert Is Male

Thank you for voting.
Technically Dilbert Is Male - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.

Company Pays Men More Than Women

Thank you for voting.
Company Pays Men More Than Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #money, #relations between the sexes, #sex & gender, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It has come to my attention that our company pays men more than women. I have been asked to correct that situation. Dilbert: You're going to cut the pay of the men, right? Boss: No, no, no. I'm only going to ask you to identify as a woman.

Wally Is New Pet Employee

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.

Consultant Gets No Help

Thank you for voting.
Consultant Gets No Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #lazy, #managers & supervisors, #selfish, #stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

the new consultant: none of your department heads are cooperating with me. several are selfish, lazy and stupid, while others are actively working against me. maybe you could talk to them. ceo: i hired you so i wouldn't need to talk to losers.

First Time Doing Marketing

Thank you for voting.
First Time Doing Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #criminals, #marketing, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?

Evil Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #chimps, #evil, #marketing, #office, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.

Have To Think About It

Thank you for voting.
Have To Think About It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you like my idea? Boss: I need to think about it. Dilbert: You mean you plan to wait a few weeks and then act as if it was your idea? Boss: Now that idea I like right away.

Adjust The Data

Thank you for voting.
Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.