Evil Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

283 Results for Evil

View 1 - 10 results for evil comic strips. Discover the best "Evil" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hiring Evil Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Boss Ear Piece

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Ear Piece - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags answers, blockchain, business, ear piece, evil, ignorance, managers & supervisors, smart, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.

Loving Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loving Yourself  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, philosophy, self love, evil, ignorant, selfish, lazy, love

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: philosophers say loving yourself is the greatest love of all. carol: do philosophers really say that? boss: all the good ones do. after years of trying, i have finally learned to love myself. carol: i'm no philosopher, but instead of learning to love yourself the way you are... wouldn't it be better if you learned how to stop being an evil, ignorant, selfish piece of garbage. boss: that sounds a lot harder. carol: in other words, you are lazy. boss: i love that about me!

Buzzflawed Interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managment, business, reporter, cheat, suppliers, question

View Transcript

Transcript

carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."

First Time Doing Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
First Time Doing Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, criminals, marketing, office

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?

Evil Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Evil Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, chimps, evil, marketing, office, product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and dogbert at conference room table. the boss: our competition released a product that makes our product look like it was designed by chimps. the boss: that's why i hired the world's most evil marketing expert to help us close the perception gap. the boss: should we focus on our value proposition? dogbert: if that means accusing them of crimes they didn't commit, then yes.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, strategy, variables, forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Manipulation Via Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manipulation Via Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer, lotalty, science, new, manipulate, addictions, mockery, free will, evil, extreme

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."

Fly On Weekend

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fly On Weekend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, managers & supervisors, office workers, evil, cheap

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a customer site visit. Book your flight for the weekend so you don't miss any work. Dilbert: I'm impressed by your casual evil. Boss: Bring your own food.

Horse Blinders

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.