Existence Of Books Comic Strips - Page 1

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50 Results for Existence Of Books

View 1 - 10 results for existence of books comic strips. Discover the best "Existence Of Books" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Literature Degree

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Elbonian Literature Degree - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags applicant, books, college, degree, education, elbonian, interview, language, major, test taker, translation

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applicant: i majored in elbonian literature in college. which is extra challenging because i don't speak elbonian and none of the books are translated. dilbert: how did you get a degree in elbonian literature without reading any? applicant: i'm a great test-taker.

Dilbert Wants To Write Book

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Dilbert Wants To Write Book   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags book, boring, colon, elephant, exercise, interesting, people, sarcasm, speaking, technology, write

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dilbert and dogbert wearing face masks on a walk. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a book. dogbert: can boring people write interesting books? dilbert: maybe i write better than i speak. dogbert: sure, and maybe an elephant lives in my colon.

Money Can't Buy Happiness

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Money Can't Buy Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags happiness, work, motivation, meaning, money, raise, wages, excuses, psychology

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Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Sparing A Robot's Feelings

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Sparing A Robot's Feelings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, sentience, feelings, emotions, afterlife, death, atheism, medical

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Robot: What kind of afterlife are we looking at here? Dilbert: Your meaningless existence will be punctuated by an eternity of darkness. Robot: Thanks for sparing my feelings! Dilbert: Sorry. I usually delete those first.

The Virus Afterlife

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The Virus Afterlife - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, conscience, morality, morals, sentience, life, death, existence, medical

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Dilbert: I couldn't find any evidence that I have a soul, so I built an artificial one and put it in a drone. When my physical body dies, the drone will upload my memories and personality to the cloud to live forever. Woman: Your soul will be trapped in a server? Dilbert: No, I wrapped it in a virus so I can travel.

Just A Guy In A Box

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Just A Guy In A Box - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags existentialism, existence, value, work, use, useful, change

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Dilbert: I like to think the work I'm doing here will change the world. Boss: Your project didn't get funded because Carol forgot to put a meeting on my calendar. Dilbert: There is, however, a non-zero chance that I"m just a guy sitting in a box.

How Work Is Going

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How Work Is Going - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, existence, happiness, fulfillment, frustration, job, business, psychology

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Dogbert: How was work? Dilbert: Are you being sarcastic? You know my life is an endless string of useless tasks orchestrated by idiots. Why do you even ask? Dogbert: I like hearing it? Dilbert: Your honesty is not refreshing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags modernity, reality, thinking, frustration, panic, existentialism, existence, meaning of life

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Dilbert: Looks like another day of flailing toward arbitrary goals. I will battle my way through a sea of idiots, much like the zombie apocalypse. My ego will be tested and my nervous system will be degraded. And all of this is to earn money so I can... buy items that scientists and product designers have brainwashed me to crave. But I get back at them by writing software they think they can't live without. My life is like two piles of meat trying to play ping pong. Alice: Stop mumbling and take care of this. Dilbert: You take care of it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discussion, how-to, obstinacy, rules of leadership, context, books, different approach, real leaders, magic formula, gullible baboon, throughout history, random book, Entertainment

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Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags how-to, best selliners, leadership, sociopathic tendencies, personality disorders, read books, coffee, metting, office

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Dilbert: As you requested, I researched all of the best-selling books on the topic of leadership. Apparently, leadership is the product of sociopathic tendencies plus luck. All other personality traits are inactive ingredients. Wally: Did you actually read all of those books? Dilbert: I only needed to know they were all different.