Falsify Documents Comic Strips - Page 1

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42 Results for Falsify Documents

View 1 - 10 results for falsify documents comic strips. Discover the best "Falsify Documents" comics from Dilbert.com.

Adjust The Data

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Adjust The Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office, #research, #tests, #data

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Dilbert: The test data doesn't support our plan. Boss: We know our plan is brilliant, so just adjust the data to support it. Dilbert: You mean falsify the data. Boss: Let's not get hung up on the definition of things.

Documents On Chairs

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Documents On Chairs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #paper

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I hate it when people leave documents on my chair! I will have my revenge by sticking this at the bottom of my biggest pile. Winning.

Shred The Copies

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Shred The Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #copies, #documents, #coffee, #shred

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The Boss: Company policy says we must shred all proprietary documents. But make copies first. Dilbert: Should we shred the copies too? The Boss: Do I have to do all the thinking around here?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bury, #top secret, #proprietary, #documents, #woods, #shovel, #tied up, #mumble

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Boss: I need you to bury some top secret proprietary documents in the woods for me. Man: Mmm mmph. Boss: Come back in ten minutes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #cost & standard of living, #green goals, #recycling bins, #company documents, #corporate secuirty, #blue recycling bins, #same policies

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Boss: To reach our green goals, employees must always use the blue recycling bins for company documents. To satisfy our corporate security guidelines, never put company documents in the blue recycling bins. Dilbert: You read those same policies to us last week. Boss: I don't know how to get rid of them.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #wrong, #termination, #fired, #documents, #security access, #passwords, #fix, #fugitive, #security, #trick

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The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found the fugitive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charge your time, #appropriate code, #unfunded, #time codes, #falsify report, #no projects funded, #meeting, #business

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The Boss: "Remember to charge your time to the appropriate project code." "Unless your project is unfunded, in which case the time codes won't work and you'll need to falsify your time report." Alice: "Are any of our projects funded?" The Boss: "This is the embarrassing part."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiate sale, #voice activated hassock business, #no lying, #plenty of ommissions, #tactical ignorance

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The Boss: "I want you to negotiate the sale of our voice activated hassock business." "You're not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations..." "...Unjustified optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas and tactical ignorance. Oh, and say that we have other offers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate agent, #documents, #overarched homes, #scarecrow manuafactirer, #run over

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The real estate agent DOgbert: Initial every page of this steaming mound of documents. Dilbert: This says that if I insist on overpricing my house then my agent can run over me with an SUV and... sell my clothes to a scarecrow manufacturer. Dogbert: its rarely enforced.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flew to location, #mix up, #introdcutions, #presentations, #documents, #confsuion, #audience, #trip

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Associate: "Everyone, this is Dilbert. He flew half-way around the world to give us this presentation." Dilbert: "What? I thought I flew here so YOU could give ME a presentation." Associate: oh "Maybe I could show you some proprietary documents." Dilbert: "I'd like that."