Heres Resume Comic Strips - Page 1
276 Results for Heres Resume
View 1 - 10 results for heres resume comic strips. Discover the best "Heres Resume" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 04, 2019's comic on:
Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!
Share May 28, 2019's comic on:
the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played
Share March 24, 2019's comic on:
Man: ...And that's what I think about the issue. Dilbert: Here's a Youtube video proving that everything you believe is wrong. Notice this isn't just an opinion. It is a video of the entire event you just claimed did not happen. I'm sending you a link to ten media stories debunking your version of events. Having now proved how wrong you are. Would you like to retract everything you said about it? Man: Why can't you admit when you are wrong? Dilbert: Because I'm not wrong!!!
Share December 05, 2018's comic on:
Wally: Here's the note from my doctor that you asked for. Boss: I can't read the handwriting. Wally: That's how you know it's a real doctor's note. Boss: What's it say. Wally: It says I need lots of sleep at work.
Share September 13, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: I just spent three days using virtual reality with no human contact whatsoever. Now every time I interact with an organic human, I feel cheated. Carol: Present company excluded? Dilbert: Here's another problem I never have in virtual reality.
Share July 17, 2018's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.
Share July 15, 2018's comic on:
Man: Here's my invoice for the extras. Dilbert: The invoice we already paid covered everything in the contract. Man: That only covered the costs I quoted with intentional clarity. There are other costs that I might have mentioned in the long and rambling explanation that was intentionally ambiguous. Dilbert: "Might have??" I'm sure you did not. Man: Sounds like your word against mine. Dilbert: And even if you did mention it, you just said it was intentionally ambiguous!!! Man: I don't think you want to tell your boss you're a bad listener. Boss: I thought we already paid this vendor. Dilbert: Did you forget all the extras I told you about?
Share July 12, 2018's comic on:
Alice: Is it true you are telling everyone the new product road map is stupid? Dilbert: Um... nothing remotely like that has ever happened. Here's an email in which I say how good it is. Alice: You hesitated in your answer. That means you're lying. Dilbert: Read the email!!!
Share May 01, 2018's comic on:
Carol: Someone stole my purse out of my cubicle. Catbert: No problem. We have security video nearly everywhere and we can track every phone that has our internal company app on it. Carol: That is mildly disturbing. Catbert: Here's a live feed of the perp in the third stall of the men's restroom.
Share November 29, 2017's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.