High Five Comic Strips - Page 1

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363 Results for High Five

View 1 - 10 results for high five comic strips. Discover the best "High Five" comics from Dilbert.com.

High Value Mate

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High Value Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Dilbert Characters

Five Year Forecast

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Five Year Forecast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Pandemic Sales

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Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings

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boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Million Dollar Bonuses

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Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, deadline, project, million-dollar, recommendation, lying, clock, weeks, spirit, bonus, mad, finished, no, laptop, coffee

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boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Shaking Hands

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Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, invent, Alternative, handshake, high-five, month, coffee

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boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?

Because Of The Pandemic

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Because Of The Pandemic - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, covid-19, managers & supervisors, pandemic, technology, projects, behind, schedule, virus, laptop, coffee

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boss: wally, four out of five of your projects are behind schedule. wally: that's because of the pandemic. boss: one of your projects is on schedule. wally: that's because of me.

Pandemic For 75 Years

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Pandemic For 75 Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, covid-19, health & safety, pandemic, science, scientist, numb, sarcasm

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dilbert reading cell phone: scientists now say the pandemic will last seventy-five years. dilbert and dogbert say nothing. dilbert: yup, i'm numb.

High Morale

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High Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, happy, embezzling, morale, employee engagement, train, mock, maockery

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dilbert singing and dancing. boss: you seem way too happy about your job. are you embezzling? dilbert: no, i'm experiencing great morale and high employee engagement, just the way you trained me. boss: that actually works? dilbert: it did until you made a mockery of it just now.

Quarantine Wally

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Quarantine Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags avoid, business, clean, covid-19, hazmat suit, health & safety, quarantine, symptoms, wash, pandemic

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man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.

When To Reply To Boss Text

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When To Reply To Boss Text - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, communication, performance, response, review, sarcasm, spreadsheet, technology, text

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wally: how long should i wait before responding to a text message from my boss? dilbert: that depends. are you already overworked? wally: um, sure. dilbert: do you need to teach him a lesson for any unrelated things he did? wally: always. dilbert: do you dislike him in general? wally: yes. dilbert: lastly, how many months until your next performance review? wally: seven. dilbert: okay....putting those inputs into my spreadsheet. you can wait 27 minutes before responding. wally: oh. i was hoping it would be closer to five days. dilbert: when did he text you? wally: i believe it was august.