Hours Worked Comic Strips - Page 1
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327 Results for Hours Worked
View 1 - 10 results for hours worked comic strips. Discover the best "Hours Worked" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 20,
2021
Job Requires Long Hours
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday June 23,
2021
Ted Will Train You
Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, absence, coffee, helpful, problem, successful, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.
Monday April 26,
2021
Workplace Injuries
Tags business, technology, meeting, video call, workplace, injury, reduce, work from home, security, guard, hurt, back, steal, office equipment
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.
Friday March 12,
2021
Deep Fake Zoom
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, video conference, zoom, call, deep fake, program, generic, employee, work, sarcasm, cell phone, laptop
Transcript
dilbert looking at phone on couch at home. dogbert: i thought you said you had a zoom call that would last for hours today. dilbert: i built a "deep fake" version of myself to take zoom calls and say generic employee stuff. next slide is boss in from of laptop on video call. boss: dilbert, do you have anything to add? dilbert: i don't know if i'm working hard or hardly working. har-har!
Sunday February 21,
2021
Alice Compliments Ted
Tags business, comparison, project, job, great, dread, foreboding, generous, trap, lull, sabotage, career, monster
Transcript
alice: you did a great job on your project ted. ted: thank you. alice: you are most welcome. ted: wait. why do i have a sense of dread and foreboding? it isn't like you to give out generous compliments. this feels like a trap. you're lulling me into a false sense of security. you plan to sabotage my career to make yourself look better by comparison. ted yelling: you monster! boss: what's this all about? alice thinking: that worked out.
Sunday January 10,
2021
Recurring Charges
Tags business, technology, cancel, online, charges, information, automated phone system, contact, website, microphone
Transcript
dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.
Thursday November 19,
2020
Dilbert Not On Mute
Tags business, meetings, video conference, zoom, time-wasting, fool, mute
Transcript
Dilbert on a video conference call and voices coming from laptop" We've been going for two hours, so let's wrap up... i have a new topic... dilbert: Gaaa!!! why is there always on time-wasting fool on every zoom call??? why? why? voice from laptop: dilbert, you're not on mute. dilbert: oh. did you hear my tv? i'll turn it down.
Sunday November 15,
2020
Cushion In Schedule
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, weekend, work, deadline, due date, schedule, input, critical, liar, credibility, exaggerate
Transcript
dilbert: i worked all weekend to get this done for you by the deadline. boss: thanks, but i won't need it for another two weeks. dilbert: then...why did you tell me the deadline was today? boss: i built some cushion into the schedule. dilbert: you mean, you lied to me about the real deadline. in other words, you don't trust me, you are a liar, and i should never believe you again. boss: but you didn't miss the deadline! dilbert: okay, well, at least my input is critical to our success. boss: i might have exaggerated that.
Monday July 27,
2020
No Raise In Years
Tags business, managers & supervisors, job, raise, nine, years, face mask, employment
Transcript
office worker: i've been working here for nine years, and you haven't given me a single raise! boss: i didn't even know you worked for me. obviously, you didn't do anything useful, or i would have noticed. office worker: well, in that case, i'm glad i didn't give my name.
Tuesday July 07,
2020
Refusing Works
Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, refuse, stupid, power, leash, head, sarcasm
Transcript
dilbert: yesterday i refused to do something i had been asked to do because it was stupid. and it worked out fine. wally: don't let the power go to your head. dilbert doing happy dance: i am off the leash! continued...