Idea To Eliminate Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

368 Results for Idea To Eliminate

View 1 - 10 results for idea to eliminate comic strips. Discover the best "Idea To Eliminate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Zooming Right

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Zooming Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #video call, #adjustments, #camera, #nose, #lighting, #lightbulb, #beard, #audio, #idea, #rude, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you adjust your camera so i'm not looking up your nose? okay, now can you adjust your lighting so you don't look like a lightbulb with a beard? voice from laptop: how's my audio? alice: it's as good as your ideas.

Wally's Best Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Best Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lack, #accomplishments, #best, #idea, #career, #interruption, #finish, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, do you have a minute to talk about your total lack of accomplishments? wally yelling: gaaa!!! i just had the best idea of my career, and your interruption made me forget it! boss: but no accomplishments until now? wally: i'm a strong finisher.

Sarcasm Or Stupidity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sarcasm Or Stupidity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #suggestion, #idea, #dumb, #sarcasm, #stupidity, #good, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: was your suggestion meant to be sarcasm, or are you so dumb you think it is a good idea? co-worker: i think it's a good idea. dilbert: i have no further questions.

The Boss Has An Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Boss Has An Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #managment, #worldwide, #obvious, #implement, #smart, #people, #remote, #work, #idea

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: looks like my idea of remote work is being implemented by management all over the world. dilbert: i don't think that was "our idea" so much as totally obvious to every thinking person. boss: well, maybe. but would they have implemented it? dilbert: i'm going to talk to smart people now.

I'm A Loseer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I'm A Loseer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #office workers, #ridiculous, #problem, #loser, #Win, #Lose, #feeling

View Transcript

Transcript

colleague: your idea is ridiculous and it will never work! oh, wait... i just realized the real problem here is that i'm a loser who doesn't want anyone else to win. dilbert: that's something you don't see often. colleague: okay, the feeling passed.

Every Expert Says

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #technology, #work, #old, #new, #future, #expert, #entrepreneurs, #worldview

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

Understanding Science

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Understanding Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #science, #scientsts, #chipmunk, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i listen to actual scientists, and they say your idea will never work. dilbert: if a chipmunk listens to scientists, should i trust the chipmunk to understand what he heard? tina: i don't get your point. dilbert: and yet you do understand science?

Keyboard Upgrades

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Upgrades  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #keyboard, #design, #keys, #better, #hard, #software, #upgrades

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have an idea for a keyboard design that we upgrade every six months by rearranging where the keys are. boss: why would we do that? dilbert: to make it better. boss: that would only make it harder to use. dilbert: exactly like our software upgrades. what's your point?

Recurring Charges

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recurring Charges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cancel, #online, #charges, #information, #automated phone system, #contact, #website, #microphone

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert at home: i'm going to try to cancel some recurring online charges today. wish me luck. dogbert: what resistance are you expecting? dilbert: obviously, they hide their contact information, so i allocated two hours to find the right phone number. it should take about an hour to navigate their automated phone system that will keep sending me to the wrong place. if i reach a human, he'll try to divert me to their website to cancel, which i already know won't work because... ...i won't be able to find my account in their system for reasons no one will ever be able to explain. and of course, their phone support person will be using a headset microphone that garbles his already mumbled words. dogbert: but if you stick with it, you will eventually succeed? dilbert: i don't know were you got that idea.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #product idea, #idea, #debunk

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.