Illegal Compnent Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

34 Results for Illegal Compnent

View 1 - 10 results for illegal compnent comic strips. Discover the best "Illegal Compnent" comics from Dilbert.com.

Illegal Plan

Thank you for voting.
Illegal Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #legal, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Your plan doesn't sound legal.I'm not comfortable with it. Boss: We break the law all the time. It hasn't been a problem yet. Do you feel better now? Dilbert: What's your position on killing all witnesses?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #discrimination, #gays, #ignorance (knowledge), #india, #supreme court, #nuclear arsenal, #scientific knowledge, #illegal to be gay, #nuke, #taj mahal, #so gay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I can never return to India because the Supreme Court made it illegal to be gay there. Does it worry you that they have a nuclear arsenal and the scientific knowledge of inebriated astrologists? Dilbet: They might nuke the Taj Mahal. Asok: I know! That place is so gay, right?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #doctors, #employees, #medicines, #nice guys, #paid less, #aggressive jerks, #offer raise, #testosterone injections, #illegal, #dangerous, #unethical, #tiny income, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #commerce, #mergers & acquisitions, #slavery is illeagal, #engineers are free, #find jobs, #better companies

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're buying an entire company just to get their engineers. Dilbert: Are you aware that slavery is illegal and the engineers are free to find jobs at better companies? Boss: I sure hope you're wrong about that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #elbonia, #bribe, #monkey god, #oobanoobah, #minister of mud, #steal, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We'll lose the Elbonian Project unless we give their minister of mud some? incentive." Wally says, "You mean a bribe?" The Boss says, "No. A bribe would be illegal." The Boss says, "Take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it by the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah." The Boss says, "If Oobanoobah does not accept your offering, by Elbonian law it becomes unclaimed property." The Boss says, "Take the gold to the unclaimed property desk at the ministry of mud." The Boss says, "Ring the bell and ask for the minister of mud. Give him the unclaimed property and a copy of our bid." Wally says, "What if the monkey god accepts the gold and I'm the only witness?" The Boss says, "What?" Wally says, "How much monkey god gold are we talking?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #eat lunch, #front, #rich, #book deal, #pirate, #illegal, #buy

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Soon my book of pointy-haired boss quotes will be published and I will be rich." Wally says, "It sounds great. I can't wait to get my pirated copy." Asok says, "Or you could buy it." Dilbert says, "I thought you said it was a book."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #conference, #meeting, #greed, #corruption, #illegal, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO summit Dogbert says, "Obviously it's illegal for companies to rig bids." Dogbert says, "But interestingly, the crime is nearly impossible to prove when nothing is written down." Dogbert says, "I'd like you to meet Eddie. Pay close attention to how many times he stomps his hoof."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2009's comic on:


Tags #legal advise, #economy, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok the intern says, "Pssst! I'm doing black market I.T. support to make up for my recent cut in pay." Man says, "Isn't this illegal?" Asok the intern, "Not according to my black market company lawyer." Alice says, "So it's legal to punch vendors?" Dogbert says, "Sure, if they deserve it." Dogbert says, "That's $100, please."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #computer, #hacking, #illegal, #support, #technology, #diagnose computer problem, #remotely, #spam server, #snoop files, #pilfer bank act.

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's tech support Dogbert: May I remotely take over your computer to diagnose the problem? Now hold while I snoop into your personal filed, pilfer your bank accounts and turn your computer into a spam server. Client: THAT'S ILLEGAL! Dogbert: So are 75% of your personal files, but you don't see me getting all huffy.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2008's comic on:


Tags #failed to accomplish.objectives, #physical impossiblities, #logical impossibilities, #unforeseen problems, #spying, #consumer fraud, #win converstaion

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Why have you failed to accomplish any of your objectives this quarter?" Dilbert says, "Well, I took the objectives you gave me and put them into three categories." Dilbert says, "The first group includes physical impossibilities, such as being in two places at the same time." Dilbert says, "The second group includes logical impossibilities, such as anticipating unforeseen problems." Dilbert says, "Last, we have the illegal objectives, including industrial spying and consumer fraud." Dilbert says, "So I spend my time doing things that are both important and legal, while hoping you wouldn't fire me for it." Dilbert says, "Whoa, what just happened? Is it my imagination, or did I just win this conversation?" Dilbert says, "It was my imagination."