Jobs Outsiurced Comic Strips - Page 1

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126 Results for Jobs Outsiurced

View 1 - 10 results for jobs outsiurced comic strips. Discover the best "Jobs Outsiurced" comics from Dilbert.com.

No One Is Taking Advice

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No One Is Taking Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth

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Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

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Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

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Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #apple, #criticism, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #steve jobs, #work

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Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?

Below Average

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Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering, #jobs, #math, #sarcasm, #review

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Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

Layoff Package

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Layoff Package - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #fire, #office, #office workers, #buyout

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: the company is announcing generous buyout packages for employees who elect to leave. dilbert: won't all the smart people leave first because they can easily get new jobs at higher pay? the boss: ummm... dilbert: if you don't get enough volunteers, will you start firing people? the boss: we have no plan to do that. dilbert: will you make a plan if too few people leave? the boss: oh, yes. dilbert: would it be fair to say the people who stay will envy the dead? the boss: um... one week later: the boss: how many took the offer? carol: it's just you now.

Thankless Tasks

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Thankless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism

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Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.

More Accurate Job Description

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More Accurate Job Description - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.

Job Is 98 Percent Interruption

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Job Is 98 Percent Interruption  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #distraction, #engineering, #frustrated, #jobs, #office workers, #listen

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Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.

Working With Old Ned

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Working With Old Ned - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old

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Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?

Company Cheer

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Company Cheer  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

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Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.