Just An Observation Comic Strips - Page 1
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1000 Results for Just An Observation
View 1 - 10 results for just an observation comic strips. Discover the best "Just An Observation" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday November 08,
2020
Banana Is Not An Apple
Tags #anger, #apple, #argue, #banana, #business, #doctored image, #google, #managers & supervisors, #search, #wrong
Transcript
dilbert holding out banana: i'm not hungry today. do you want my banana? boss: that's an apple. dilbert: um..no this is a banana. boss: clearly it is not. dilbert: i can't believe you are making me do a google search to prove i know what a banana is. see? those are bananas. this looks just like the photos. this is a banana. those images are doctored. dilbert yelling: there are a million banana images! they are not all doctored! boss: you know how i know you are wrong? because you never admit you are wrong. gotcha! dilbert yelling: that is not a thing!!! boss: that's exactly what all the people who are wrong say.
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Wednesday October 21,
2020
Hand Sanitizer
Tags #office workers, #business, #hand sanitizer, #addicted, #overuse, #face mask, #covid-19, #pandemic
Transcript
dilbert: i'm getting addicted to hand sanitizer. it started with my hands, but over time, i extended it up to my forearms, then behind my ears, and it just kept going. dilbert: want a squirt? alice: i don't know where that thing has been.
Tuesday October 20,
2020
Quarantine Wally
Tags #avoid, #business, #clean, #covid-19, #hazmat suit, #health & safety, #quarantine, #symptoms, #wash, #pandemic
Transcript
man in hazmat suit: you reported covid-19 symptoms, so we have to quarantine you. wally: i don't have symptoms. i just said i did to avoid a meeting. man in hazmat suit: well, you probably have it now. i haven't washed this hazmat suit in five months.
Sunday October 11,
2020
Building Codes
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lab, #construction, #building, #codes, #stringent, #guarantee, #rain, #mayor, #campaign, #sarcasm, #face mask, #false, #hope, #phase
Transcript
boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.
Tuesday October 06,
2020
Height Advantage
Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom
Transcript
boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.
Friday October 02,
2020
Robots Will Sneak Up On Us
Tags #argue, #business, #employees, #enginners, #managers & supervisors, #replace, #robots, #technology, #train
Transcript
boss: we aren't yet ready to replace engineers with robots, but that day will sneak up on us. so i'd like all of you to train a robot to do your jobs, just so we are ready. dilbert: you want us to train our own replacements? boss thinking: this is another thing a robot would not argue about.
Thursday October 01,
2020
No Update Needed
Tags #apathy, #assignment, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #project, #robot, #sarcasm, #technology, #update
Transcript
asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.
Sunday September 13,
2020
Applying Math To Guesses
Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask
Transcript
boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.
Sunday September 06,
2020
Authority On Your Opinion
Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreements, #Opinion, #sarcasm, #change, #debate, #authority, #hallucinating, #lying, #stupid, #gaslight, #insult, #face mask
Transcript
co-worker: why have you changed your opinion since last week? dilbert: i haven't changed my opinion. co-worker: no, it was different last week. dilbert: are we really debating which one of us is a better authority on my opinion? co-worker: you might be lying about not changing your opinion. dilbert: and you might be hallucinating or lying or just stupid. co-worker: you might be trying to gaslight me right now. i'm glad we can have these honest talks. dilbert: i hope you plunge to your death in a freak elevator accident.
Thursday September 03,
2020
Boss Not Returning Messages
Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #business, #boss, #fire, #message, #importance, #sarcasm, #employment, #face mask
Transcript
asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!