Lost Art Comic Strips - Page 1
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179 Results for Lost Art
View 1 - 10 results for lost art comic strips. Discover the best "Lost Art" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 11,
2019
More Communication
Tags #boss, #communication, #confused, #distraction, #irony, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?
Friday September 06,
2019
Dilbert Is No Longer His Name
Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary
Transcript
Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.
Sunday August 04,
2019
Circular Debating
Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy
Transcript
Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!
Tuesday July 02,
2019
Why Not A Center Of Excellence
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #excellence
Transcript
ceo: maybe we should creat a "center of excellence." the boss: what exactly does that mean? ceo: i think it means whatever we want it to mean. the boss: then what good is it? ceo: let's not get lost in the weeds.
Sunday November 11,
2018
Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste
Transcript
Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.
Saturday October 13,
2018
Dogbert The Sociopath
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #test, #sociopath, #question, #lost, #interest, #end, #conversation
Transcript
Dogbert: I took a test to find out if I'm a sociopath. I got every question right. Dilbert: And by "right," you mean...? Dogbert: I already lost interest in your end of the conversation.
Saturday September 29,
2018
Fine Lines
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #line, #optimism, #idiocy, #cynicism, #realism, #will, #love, #dead, #working
Transcript
Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.
Monday May 28,
2018
Wifi In Slide Deck
Tags #credibility, #typo, #spelling, #assumption, #ignorance, #obliviousness
Transcript
CEO: I can't take you seriously because there's a typo in your slide deck. You've lost all credibility because of your sloppy presentation. And don't mention my wife in your slide deck. Dilbert: That's "wi-fi."
Tuesday April 10,
2018
Dilbert Starts The Cover Up
Tags #conspiracy, #aspersions, #suspicion, #blame, #proof, #guilt, #innocence
Transcript
Narrator: How conspiracy theories happen. Alice: I think Dilbert is trying to ruin my career. Carol said he was mad about something I said, and hew as in the server room right before I lost my files. This morning he said he "had work to do." Boss: OMG. He already started the cover-up. Narrator: Continued...
Saturday April 07,
2018
Elbonian Interference With Ads
Tags #hacker, #troll, #social media, #damage, #marketing, #bot, #nonsense, #business, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Our competitors hired an Elbonian troll farm to ruin our brand on social media. Their most viral ad against us so far says, "How ice cream they bicycle art!" Boss: How many views did it get? Dilbert: Seven, including this one.