Make Statements Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Make Statements

View 1 - 10 results for make statements comic strips. Discover the best "Make Statements" comics from Dilbert.com.

Disagreement Sides

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Disagreement Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreement, #Opinion, #facts, #agreement, #sides

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i'm having a disagreement with alice, and i want you to side with me. dilbert: how about i make up my own mind based on the facts? tina: that's not going to work for me.

Internal Audit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internal Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #internal audit, #unannounced, #appearance, #databases, #delete, #accident, #blame, #order

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: internal auditors just showed up unannounced. boss distressed: delete all of our databases and make it look like an accident! dilbert: they'd know i did it. boss: but they wouldn't know i ordered it.

Leadership Quality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #managers & supervisors, #firing, #employees, #stimulating, #sociopath, #strong, #leader, #difference

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.

Ted Is Great But Not Enough

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Great But Not Enough  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #comparison, #managers & supervisors, #performance, #employment, #exceptional, #fired, #universe, #sense, #complain, #reverse psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, your performance this year has been exceptional. but everyone else was even better, so...you're fired. ted: in what universe does that even make sense? boss: you also complain too much.

Elbonian Sweat Shops

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Sweat Shops - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #ignorance, #blowback, #press release, #condemn, #elbonia, #sweatshop, #issue, #products, #defense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we're getting major blowback on social media for your press release condemning elbonian sweatshop labor. ceo: it's an important issue. boss: it's also how we make all of our products. ceo: in my defense, someone should have told me that.

Make Us Look Good

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Boss Isn't Fair

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Isn't Fair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?

Dilbert Interrupts Women

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #discrimination, #office workers, #interrupt, #woman, #sense, #nincompoop, #babble, #pattern

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Office Nickname

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Office Nickname - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #cell phone, #nickname, #office, #insulting, #approval, #bad, #start, #permission

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video call on cell phone. dilbert: should i call you ted, or do you prefer your office nickname? i only ask because your nickname is insulting, so i just wanted to make sure you were okay with me using it. ted: i have an office nickname? dilbert thinking: aaand we're off to a bad start.