Medicine Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Medicine

View 1 - 10 results for medicine comic strips. Discover the best "Medicine" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Does Telemedicine

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Does Telemedicine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, telemedicine, time, doctor, health, pain, rake, leaves, medicine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i started doing telemedicine in my spare time. Dilbert: don't you need to be a doctor to do that? dogbert: technically, yes. but i found a workaround. dilbert: which is? dogbert: i tell people i'm a doctor. patient: doctor, i have a sharp pain in the back of my thigh. dogbert: are you sitting on a rake? patient: that's a weird question. oh. wait, i am. what should i do? dogbert: try picking up leaves with your hands.

Cooties Diagnosis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confirmed, cooties, diagnosis, doctor, medicine, Opinion, professional, skepticism, symptom, test

View Transcript

Transcript

doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Boss Comes To Work Sick

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Comes To Work Sick  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sick, sickness, illness, contagious, sick days, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have to warn you-- I have a fever and I'm tripping on cold medicine. Alice: Thank you for coming to work and infecting all of us, you selfish, addle-brained plague rat. Boss: I was going for "courageous." Dilbert: Do Wally first, so I can watch him spasm.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags medicine, excuse, doctor, laziness, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, robot, replacement, doctor, medicine, obsolete, job, diagnose, necessity, technology, invention, business, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: IBM's Watson supercomputer has diagnosed your symptoms. The computer just ordered the meds you need. They will be delivered in an hour by drone. Dilbert: Looks like your job as a doctor is becoming obsolete. Doctor: Ha ha! No. You still need a doctor and a nurse to make the system work. For example, the computer can't read its own screen and speak those words to patients. Dilbert: Actually, it can. Doctor: But the computer doesn't have a nurse. Dilbert: What does the nurse do? Nurse: I stab him if he tries to do more than read the screen.

Stress As A Wellness Issue

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress As A Wellness Issue - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags loophole, medicine, health, stress, work, medical leave, work ethic, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We have a problem. Our employee wellness site lists stress as a medical problem. And working here causes stress. Catbert: How many of them took paid medical leave? Boss: It's just you now. I'm packed.

Wally Engineers Something

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Engineers Something - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags genius, brilliant, idea, thinking, printer, technology, invention, medicine, deception, motivation, innovation, laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Did you design our robot's 3-D pill printer? Wally: Yup. Dilbert: The design is brilliant, except for the part where the pill drops out of the robot's butt. Why are you suddenly brilliant? Wally: Never had a reason before.

Robot Dispenses Meds

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Dispenses Meds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, medicine, pill, anxiety, deception, control, manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: My biosensors detect an onset of social anxiety. My internal 3-D printer is making the meds to fix you. I am ready to dispense. Please lie on the ground with your mouth open. Dilbert: This feels like a bad precedent.

Computers Program Humans

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Computers Program Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robots, program, intelligence, control, medication, medicine, pill, technology, power

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: It is time to take your mood-altering prescription meds. Boss: Oh, right. Robot: Wait... IBM's Watson computer has added another prescription and sent it to your 3-D pill printer at home. Do you think robots will ever program humans? Boss: That's dumb.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joking, laughter, medicine, neck pain, sleep, sound wise, slept wrong, employee, employer, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My neck is killing me. I must have slept wrong. Dilbert: Ha ha ha! You can't even sleep right! I'm doing you a favor because laughter is the best medicine. Hee hee! Boss: Why does that no longer sound wise?!!