Monday Morning Comic Strips - Page 1

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115 Results for Monday Morning

View 1 - 10 results for monday morning comic strips. Discover the best "Monday Morning" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Doesn't Understand

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Boss Doesn't Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #server, #migration, #difficult, #understand, #question, #face maks

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boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.

Dilbert Characters

Wally Not Working

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Wally Not Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology, #work ethic, #micro-managing

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boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.

Cancelled Presentation

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Cancelled Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cancelled, #presentation, #meeting, #happy

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dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.

Illegal To Sell Armed Drones

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Illegal To Sell Armed Drones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illegal, #armed, #drones, #private, #citizens, #sell, #business, #technology, #bribe, #law

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boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.

Morning Meetings

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Morning Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #morning, #effectiveness, #afternoon, #complain

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dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.

Keyboard Clicks

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Keyboard Clicks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #cell phone, #office, #office workers

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alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games

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Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?

Company Cheer

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Company Cheer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

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Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Candor Monster

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Candor Monster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster

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The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!