Monday Morning Comic Strips - Page 1
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Character
115 Results for Monday Morning
View 1 - 10 results for monday morning comic strips. Discover the best "Monday Morning" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday August 07,
2020
Boss Doesn't Understand
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #server, #migration, #difficult, #understand, #question, #face maks
Transcript
boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.
Tuesday February 18,
2020
Wally Not Working
Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology, #work ethic, #micro-managing
Transcript
boss: you don't seem to be working. wally: i don't want to start something new because it's almost the end of my work day. boss: it's ten o'clock in the morning. wally: and here comes the micro-managing.
Wednesday February 05,
2020
Cancelled Presentation
Tags #business, #cancelled, #presentation, #meeting, #happy
Transcript
dilbert looking disheveled: i wooed all night to finish the presentation you need for this morning. boss: oh. that meeting got canceled. dilbert upset and yelling: when exactly did you hear of that? boss: it won't make you happier if i tell you.
Wednesday January 22,
2020
Illegal To Sell Armed Drones
Tags #illegal, #armed, #drones, #private, #citizens, #sell, #business, #technology, #bribe, #law
Transcript
boss: i just learned it's illegal to sell armed drones to private citizens. how many orders did we get since we started selling them this morning? dilbert: seventy million. boss: i'll look into bribing someone to change the law.
Thursday December 05,
2019
Morning Meetings
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #morning, #effectiveness, #afternoon, #complain
Transcript
dilbert: my creativity energy is highest in the morning, but you always schedule our meetings then. your ill-timed meetings reduce my effectiveness by eighty percent. boss: what do you do in the afternoons? robert: i use that time to complain about my morning meetings.
Thursday April 11,
2019
Keyboard Clicks
Tags #business, #cell phone, #office, #office workers
Transcript
alice: i noticed you have your keyboard click sounds activated. i've been listening to it all morning. the boss holding cell phone: i don't know how to make it stop. alice: i'll show you. frame shows outside of office building with phone being thrown out window.
Sunday December 23,
2018
Tags #boss, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #video games
Transcript
Boss: The job market is so tight that I had to hire this NPC. Dilbert: NPC? Boss: Non-player character. It's a video game term for a character that is programmed.As opposed to being an avatar for a human player. An NPC has limited programmed responses. Watch this. How's your day going? NPC: Not bad for a Monday. Boss: Can you help me on my project? NPC: I am too busy: Boss: What do you think of management? NPC: They are all dumb. Wally: I just bonded with that thing. Boss: See how fast you get used to it?
Monday December 03,
2018
Company Cheer
Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations
Transcript
Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.
Sunday November 11,
2018
Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste
Transcript
Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.
Wednesday September 05,
2018
Candor Monster
Tags #the boss, #carol, #radical candor, #therapy, #criticism, #monster
Transcript
The Boss: My new system of using "radical candor," is working out great. I've been criticizing people all morning and only three of them went into therapy over it. Now I turn my candor to you. Carol: Die, monster!