National Guard Comic Strips - Page 1
66 Results for National Guard
View 1 - 10 results for national guard comic strips. Discover the best "National Guard" comics from Dilbert.com.
boss on video call. boss: i'm proud to announce we reduced workplace injuries by 76% this past year. voice from laptop: we all worked from home this year. shouldn't we have seen a 100% reduction? boss: our security guard kept hurting his back stealing office equipment.
Dilbert: Here's my first cut at a sales video for our Elbonian market segment. Video: If you enjoy juggling cabbages while overdrinking, you'll love our products! Boss: This sounds kind of racist. Dilbert: Inebriated cabbage-juggling is their national sport.
Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.
Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.
Elbonian 1: I stole the enemy's encryption-breaking software. Elbonian 2: My phone doesn't have a hole for this. I think it needs an adapter or something. Elbonian 1: Is it time to admit we're in over our heads? Elbonian 2: Why are the heathens so good at this stuff?
Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.
Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.
Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.
CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.