Network Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

103 Results for Network

View 1 - 10 results for network comic strips. Discover the best "Network" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hallucinations At Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

View Transcript

Transcript

in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

No Internet

Thank you for voting.
No Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2018's comic on:

Tags #business, #complaining, #engineering, #office workers, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The network will be down all day, but try to do what you can without it. Dilbert: What can we do without it besides drink coffee, complain, and whittle? Boss: No knives at work. Dilbert: Hold off on the whittling.

Everyone Else Is Worthless

Thank you for voting.
Everyone Else Is Worthless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #fire, #pawn, #problems, #project, #the boss, #useless, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm adding you to the network upgrade project. Everyone else on the team is lazy and useless, so I need you to do all of their work. Dilbert: Maybe you should fire them. The Boss: Don't try to pawn off your problems on me.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2018's comic on:

Tags #Wally, #the boss, #bad, #technology, #day, #phone, #freezing, #printer, #working, #network, #warning, #lights, #christmas, #tree, #laptop, #boot, #coincidence, #permission, #lock, #lead-line, #box, #hero

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm having a bad technology day. My phone keeps freezing, my printer isn't working, and our network is down. Wally: My car's warning lights look like a Christmas tree, and my laptop won't boot up. Maybe its all just coincidence but I don't think we can take that chance. May I have permission to lock myself in a lead-lined box to protect the rest of the company? The Boss: How will I know you're really in a lead-lined box? Wally: YOu'll know because your phone will be working fine. The Boss: My phone is still working that man is a hero.

Unplugged Server

Thank you for voting.
Unplugged Server - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2018's comic on:

Tags #server, #obliviousness, #cell phone, #phone, #charging, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The network has been down all morning, but we found the problem. Some idiot unplugged the server so he could charge his phone. So, that problem has been solved. Boss: Great. Now can you help me find my lost phone?

Dilbert Characters

Wally Maintains The Network

Thank you for voting.
Wally Maintains The Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2018's comic on:

Tags #information, #spying, #surviellance, #blackmail, #extortion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, your performance is terrible. You're fired. Wally: Are you aware that every message you have ever sent using company devices is archived on a network you assigned me to maintain? Boss: Is that a threat? Wally: I also archive your web searches.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2018's comic on:

Tags #network, #optics, #stupid company, #Women, #imagination, #flirting, #miscommunication, #co workers, #argument, #women in management, #employees, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: do you have lunch plans? Dilbert: Aren't you married? Carol: Im not asking you out on a date, Im trying to network. Dilbert: The optics wouldn't be good. Carol: How am I supposed to network in this stupid company? Dilbert: Maybe you could network with other women. Carol: This company has no women in management! Now I see the problem. Its people like you! Dilbert: Is it my imagination or was she flirting with me? Wally: I can't tell.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Virus Gives Everyone A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2017's comic on:

Tags #virus, #infection, #computer, #malware, #morals, #salary, #technology, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

Fake Email From The Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2017's comic on:

Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network

Thank you for voting.
Elbonians Hackers Get Into Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2017's comic on:

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #malware, #virus, #infection, #cyber security, #obliviousness, #password

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Elbonian hackers got into our network. We don't know how. Dilbert: Maybe it was the thumb drive you found on the sidewalk in front of our entrance. Alice: Or maybe it was because your password is "password." Boss: How do you know my password?