Search Results for "obliviousness"

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Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

Boss Has A Vision For The Company

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Boss Has A Vision For The Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #office workers, #sarcasm, #listen

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Boss: And that's my vision for the company. Dilbert: All you did was list the projects we are already working on while making it sound like astrology. Boss: In my defense, I didn't think any of you were listening.

Boss Email Password

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Boss Email Password - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2018's comic on:


Tags #business, #competition, #email, #obliviousness, #security, #strategy

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Boss: We need to find out who leaked our strategy to our competition. Alice: Is your email password still 123? Boss: Stop changing the subject.

How About Lunch

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How About Lunch - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #dating, #flirting, #rejection, #relationships, #obliviousness

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Dilbert: Would you like to have a drink after work? Woman: I don't drink. Dilbert: How about lunch? Woman: I also don't eat. Do you see a pattern yet? Dilbert: You're an android?

Everything We Have Done Is Stupid

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Everything We Have Done Is Stupid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2018's comic on:


Tags #mistake, #criticism, #obliviousness

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Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.

Can't Remember Wally's Project

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Can't Remember Wally's Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #language, #jargon, #obliviousness, #bluff, #managers

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Boss: I can't remember what project you're working on. Wally: I'm integrating parallel platforms for load balancing across incremental networks. Boss: Keep doing that. I can never tell when I'm having a good day.

Ai For Productivity

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Ai For Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #meeting, #productivity, #obliviousness, #business

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Boss: We started using A.I. to identify when employees are unproductive. Device: Ping ping ping ping ping ping. Boss: Looks like this meeting is setting off some alarms.

Negotiating Expert

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Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2018's comic on:


Tags #consultant, #negotiation, #training, #irony, #obliviousness, #business

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2018's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #jargon, #misunderstanding, #genius, #obliviousness

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Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?

Decentralization Changes Everything

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Decentralization Changes Everything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 2018's comic on:


Tags #bitcoin, #ethereum project, #decentralization, #currency, #money, #economics, #blockchain, #obliviousness, #jargon, #lingo

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Boss: Decentralization will change everything. Dilbert: Such as? Boss: Well... for example, um... the bitcoin and the Ethereum. Alice: Did you recently read an article? Boss: Some of it.