Ostriches Eye Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

66 Results for Ostriches Eye

View 1 - 10 results for ostriches eye comic strips. Discover the best "Ostriches Eye" comics from Dilbert.com.

Twitch Gets You More Work

Thank you for voting.
Twitch Gets You More Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #communication, #office, #office workers, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: does anyone have an idea for fixing our communication problem with marketing? dilbert, alice, wally and asok thinking: must...not...speak or else he will assign the project to me. the boss: i saw your eye twitch. the project is all yours. alice: GAAAA!!! visually upset

Hiring A Millennial

Thank you for voting.
Hiring A Millennial - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #office workers, #sarcasm, #smartphone, #generation, #millennial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a millennial who was raised by smartphones. He won't make eye contact, and we don't expect him to ever mate. Dilbert: Can he speak? Boss: Yes, but only with sarcasm.

Best Places To Work

Thank you for voting.
Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Don't Make Eye Contact With Ceo  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2017's comic on:


Tags #presentation, #public speaking, #nervous, #anxious, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm nervous because I need to make a presentation to our CEO. Do you have any advice? Wally: Don't make eye contact with him. He hates that. Asok: You have made things far worse! Wally: He also flies into a rage when he hears the word "the."

Looks Good But Won't Work

Thank you for voting.
Looks Good But Won't Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.

Bribing Wally

Thank you for voting.
Bribing Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bribe, #morals, #laziness, #work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I don't have time to help. Coworker: What if I bribe you to do your job? I am literally offering to give you my personal money to do the job your employer pays you to do. Wally: Are you willing to turn a blind eye to my total lack of effort, or should I find a better briber?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #workload, #stress, #counseling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have too much work, and it's stressing me out. Boss: I've been reading about this sort of situation. Try writing don all the things that make you feel grateful. Dilbert: That would be more work! Boss: For your anger issues, try keeping a journal of all the times you lose your temper. Dilbert: That would be more work! Has anyone ever taken your advice? Boss: Do you know the guy in Marketing with the eye patch? Dilbert: He followed your advice? Boss: Half of it.

Pregnant Fly

Thank you for voting.
Pregnant Fly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #safety, #accident, #osha, #hazard, #work environment

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I was walking past the employee ping-pong table and took one in the eye. This is an unsafe work environment. Gaaa!!! A fly went up my nose! Catbert: It looked pregnant.

What The Boss Said

Thank you for voting.
What The Boss Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #secret, #accusation, #privacy, #following, #bathroom, #restroom, #personal space

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: I think you know something about my project and your boss told you to keep quiet. Ha! You just confirmed it by avoiding eye contact! Dilbert: Maybe you could get your own stall? Ted: Why? What do you have to hide?

Change To Bad Design

Thank you for voting.
Change To Bad Design - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #link, #traffic, #design, #color, #Opinion, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you make that link button blue instead of burnt orange? Dilbert: Yes, if you want people to click on it, and you thrive on bad design. Boss: I have an eye for design. Dilbert: And I have an elbow for music.