Poor Persons Comic Strips - Page 1

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106 Results for Poor Persons

View 1 - 10 results for poor persons comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Persons" comics from Dilbert.com.

Lonely Man

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Lonely Man  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, zoom, discuss, issue, video call, voice call, attractive, lonely, Women, man, remote, work from home, cell phone, linkedin, profile, photo

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dilbert on couch with cell phone texting. dilbert texting: let's do a zoom call to discuss that issue. tap tap tap other person's response: you only want to do a video call because i'm an attractive woman and you are a lonely single man working remotely. will you settle for a voice call while you stare at my linkedin profile photo? dilbert: yes

People Believe Anything

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People Believe Anything - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, business, people, believe, anything, whisper, campaign, rival, management, dumb, covid, pandemic

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all parties wearing face masks. boss: i'm starting a whisper campaign against my rival in management. i want you to tell people he buys babies from the poor and eats them. dilbert: no one is dumb enough to believe that. boss: people will believe anything. dilbert: not anything. boss: yes, anything. dilbert: fine. i'll try it, but only to prove how wrong you are. office worker: how many does he eat per day? dilbert thinking: i need a new planet.

Poor Communication Skills

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Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, questions, projects

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Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Homeless Employees

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Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags concern, cost, employees, homeless persons, office workers, pretend

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Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Housing Costs

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Housing Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cost, discussion, homeless persons, house

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Asok: Housing costs are so high that I had to move into a restroom stall. Man: I live in the park under a pile of wet cardboard. Asok: Have you tried a stall? Man: No, I'm too outdoorsy for that.

Offensive Tweet From Long Ago

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 Offensive Tweet From Long Ago - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comprehensive, offensive, poor reading, sense of humor, seven years, offensive tweet, twitter

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The Boss: we found awn offensive tweet you sent seven years ago. Dilbert: Its only offensive if you have poor reading comprehension and no sense of humor. The boss: I find it offensive. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page here/

Ted Might Drop Dead

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Ted Might Drop Dead - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health, monitor, fitbit, wearable tech, heart attack, diseases, death, prediction, medical

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Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

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Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invisibility, attendance, deception, laziness

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Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

3 D Printer Will Save Millions

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3 D Printer Will Save Millions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags altruism, money, profit, big business, priorities, morals, life

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Dilbert: I invented a 3-D printer for the poor that can create any kind of generic drug or medical device. It will save millions. Boss: ...of dollars? Dilbert: People. Boss: Pass.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, scope, negotiating, engineer, demands, failure, stress, business, engineering

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Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.