Rating System Comic Strips - Page 1
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273 Results for Rating System
View 1 - 10 results for rating system comic strips. Discover the best "Rating System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 17,
2022
Dogbert Charges For Esg Rating
Tuesday September 13,
2022
Dogbert Starts Esg Rating Firm
Wednesday November 10,
2021
Sadist For Phone System Design
Sunday July 11,
2021
Write An Enterprise System
Friday June 18,
2021
Wally Helps The New Guy
Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment
Transcript
dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit
Sunday April 04,
2021
Taking Time Off
Tags business, technology, video call, vacation, paid time off, critical, essential, system, migration, kidding, success, zoom, call, valuable, asset, engagement
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.
Saturday February 13,
2021
Asok Isolates Too Well
Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer
Transcript
wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!
Friday February 12,
2021
Gaming The System
Tags business, decision, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, wrong, believe, system, project
Transcript
boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.
Sunday January 31,
2021
Lazy People Are Efficient
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, efficient, projects, lazy, assignments, useful
Transcript
wally: they say the laziest employees are the best because they know how to be efficient. i don't think i get enough credit for all of my efficiency. boss: efficiency only matters if you are doing something useful. wally: you're the one who gives me my assignments. boss: i don't ask you to do anything useful because you are too lazy. wally: are the useful projects generally harder that the useless ones? boss: yes. wally: then i'd say the system is working.
Tuesday January 26,
2021
Teamwork But
Tags technology, business, teamwork, limit, competition, salary, funds, battle, meeting, thinking, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: the key to success is teamwork. dilbert: then why does our compensation system pit employees against each other to battle for limited funds salary funds? boss: this meeting will go a lot smoother if you stop doing whatever you're doing right now. dilbert: i call it "thinking."