Read Comic Strips - Page 1
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214 Results for Read
View 1 - 10 results for read comic strips. Discover the best "Read" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 28,
2021
Instead Of Handshakes
Tags business, technology, handshake, substitute, read, vote, suggestions, obscene
Transcript
boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 12,
2020
Read The Article
Tags business, office workers, article, feedback, time, waste, thoughts
Transcript
co-worker: can i get your thoughts on the article i emailed to you? dilbert: okay. my thoughts are that i don't want to waste my time reading any articles you send to me. co-worker: can you dive a bit deeper? dilbert: okay. i also don't like talking to you.
Tuesday April 07,
2020
Three Dogberts
Tags business, Dogbert, marketing, plan, clone, singularity, event, book
Transcript
dogbert on desk with three dogberts behind him: i've got three dogberts working on your marketing plan, but even that isn't enough. i'd bump it up to five dogcarts, but then we risk creating a singularity event. boss: i don't get it. dogbert: read a book.
Thursday March 12,
2020
Selling Private Data
Tags business, job, management, cloud, data, people, private, information, laugh, market, sell, email, friend
Transcript
dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.
Friday January 31,
2020
What Good Is Money
Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own
Transcript
dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.
Monday January 27,
2020
Mind Reader
Tags business, plan, sabotage, mind reader, success, apology
Transcript
dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.
Thursday January 09,
2020
Mind Reading
Tags business, judge, ruling, gavel, proof, thoughts, unfair, mind, reading
Transcript
court of stupidity judge with gavel: the court rules that dilbert should magically know what his boss wants at all times. dilbert: i'm not a mind-reader! judge: prove it! dilbert: how can i prove i can't read minds? judge: easy. tell me what i'm not thinking.
Monday December 02,
2019
Tina Enters Coma
Tags office workers, business, technology, write, body, language, read
Transcript
tina the tech writer tina: in simple terms, tell me how the technology works, so i can write about it. one hour later dilbert pointing to flow chart: and that's how it all...uh-oh. if i am reading your body language correctly, you're saying i could have shortened that. continued...
Thursday October 24,
2019
Project Update
Wednesday October 09,
2019
Your Real Scheme
Tags office workers, office, business, scheme, power, costs, mind, reader, psychology
Transcript
dilbert: and this method will reduce costs by thirty percent. ted: nice try, but i know your real scheme is to grab power. dilbert: you're not a good mind reader ted: and yet i knew you would say i can't read minds, explain that

