Report To Alice Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Report To Alice

View 1 - 10 results for report to alice comic strips. Discover the best "Report To Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Brain Fog

Thank you for voting.
Brain Fog - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #co-workers, #business, #health, #meds, #i.q., #handsome, #name

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i have brain fog from the meds i took last night. my i.q. is down by 50%, but i make up for it by being handsome. alice: sounds more like a 75% situation. dilbert: now, can someone remind me of my name?

Inefficiency

Thank you for voting.
Inefficiency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.

Thwarting Alice's Career

Thank you for voting.
Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Consider Polyamory

Thank you for voting.
Consider Polyamory - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #psychology, #relationships, #office work, #polyamory, #girl friend, #progress, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: have you ever considered trying polyamory? instead of not having one girl-friend, you could not have two. dilbert: that would feel like progress. alice: you're welcome.

Report Is On Cluttered Desk

Thank you for voting.
Report Is On Cluttered Desk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #project, #desk, #cluttered, #email, #lost

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you see my project update? boss: no wally: i left it on your cluttered desk. try excavating a few layers to find it. dilbert: what happens when he realizes it isn't there? wally: that's when i tell him to check his cluttered email.

Reporting On Tina

Thank you for voting.
Reporting On Tina - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #technical, #new, #bored, #coma, #writer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: tina is in some sort of technical writer's trance. dilbert: apparently, i took too long to explain some new technology, and it bored her into a coma. should i report this? wally: only if you can do it succinctly

Stay Home When Sick

Thank you for voting.
Stay Home When Sick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #healthy, #sick, #sneeze, #infect, #deadlines

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: maybe you should stay home when you are sick. alice sneezing: honk! i will, but first i need to infect the rest of you so i'm not the only one missing deadlines. can you hold this for me? (passes off tissue to dilbert)

Workflow Training

Thank you for voting.
Workflow Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #system, #technology, #training, #new

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: has everyone taken the new workflow system training? alice: yes, and we all concluded the new system is poorly designed and should be abandoned. boss: sounds like you need more training. alice: i meant to say we love the new system

Juggling 17 Balls

Thank you for voting.
Juggling 17 Balls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #comparison, #criticism, #employees, #office workers, #overwhelmed, #juggle

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have too many projects. Boss: Pfft! If a juggler can juggle five balls at once, you can handle seventeen projects. Alice: But...no juggler can juggle seventeen balls at once. Boss: Not the lazy ones.