Same Questions Comic Strips - Page 1

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548 Results for Same Questions

View 1 - 10 results for same questions comic strips. Discover the best "Same Questions" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is No Longer His Name

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Dilbert Is No Longer His Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #respect, #salary

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Dilbert: My name used to be Dilbert, but my boss ordered me to identify as a woman. That way he can claim he pays men and women the same. Woman: I just lost all respect for your company. Dilbert: That was going to happen either way.

Technically Dilbert Is Male

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Technically Dilbert Is Male - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #gender, #managers & supervisors, #men and women, #office workers, #salary

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Dilbert: Technically, I'm male. But my boss makes me identify as a woman so it looks as if he pays men and women the same. Dogbert: You let your boss choose your gender? Dilbert: Don't make it sound weird.

The Inexperienced Employee.

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The Inexperienced Employee. - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #criticism, #employees, #insults, #office workers

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Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.

Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy

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Hiring A Bad Analogy Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm, #arrogance

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Boss: I hired a bad analogy guy. Instead of giving reasons for his opinions, he asks ridiculous questions while acting arrogant. Dilbert: That doesn't seem useful. Man: Would you say that about oxygen?

Leadership Conference In Maui

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Leadership Conference In Maui - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #vacations

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Boss: The leadership conference is in Maui next week. I need you to sit in for me...and do your own job at the same time. While I'm drinking on the beach. Dilbert: I get it!!!

Poor Communication Skills

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Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

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Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

Wally Plans His Retirement

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Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

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wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Employee Engagement Is Up

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Employee Engagement Is Up - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement

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Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.

Dumb Questions

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Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #insults, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #questions, #sarcasm

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Dilbert: Let's brainstorm, and remember, there are no dumb questions, only dumb bosses. Boss: Was that necessary? Dilbert: I stand corrected: There is at least one dumb question.

Ai With Bad Analogies

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Ai With Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #engineering, #questions, #robot, #technology, #humans, #rational

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Dilbert: My breakthrough in A.I. came when I stopped trying to duplicate human rational thought. Dogbert: You can't copy what doesn't exist. Dilbert: Right. So instead I coded it to spout analogies to sound human. Asok: Should I ask my boss for a raise? Robot: Trees don't ask for raises, so why should you?