Same Time Comic Strips - Page 1

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View 1 - 10 results for same time comic strips. Discover the best "Same Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Plan To Be On Time

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Zoom Background Says A Lot

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Zoom Background Says A Lot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #business, #consultant, #video background, #shelves, #sports trophies, #photo, #jesus, #believability, #sarcasm

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dogbert: your video call background needs improvement. i'll fill your shelves with sports trophies, plus photos of you shaking hands with jesus. dilbert: who would believe i shook hands with jesus? dogbert: the same people who will believe you won lots of sports trophies.

Tina Is Late For Revenge

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Tina Is Late For Revenge - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #late, #meeting, #punctual, #three, #minutes, #plotting, #revenge, #sarcasm, #october

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dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird

Never Admit You Are Wrong

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Never Admit You Are Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office relationships, #wrong, #admit, #pride, #cumulative, #clouds, #speachless, #example

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tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...

Anonymous Sources

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Anonymous Sources - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company, #anonymous, #credibility, #trust, #lie, #thief, #sources

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boss: anonymous sources tell me you have been stealing from the company. dilbert: anonymous sources have no credibility. boss: that's exactly what they told me you'd say. dilbert: why do you trust them over me? boss: well, for one thing, i hear you're a thief. dilbert: you heard that from the anonymous sources that have no credibility! boss: why would they lie to me? dilbert: same reason you lie to me. boss: okay, that makes sense.

Pandemic Sales

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Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #high, #pandemic, #virus, #deadly, #profit, #conscience, #feelings

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boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Universe Preparing Problems

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Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #universe, #preparing, #problems, #anger, #laptop, #hate

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dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.

Remote Workers Do Not Mate

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Remote Workers Do Not Mate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #appearance, #dating, #love & dating, #walking, #outdoors, #dating app, #woman, #app, #reproduction, #inner qualities, #goodbye, #genes

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dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.

Zoom Could Have Been Worse

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Zoom Could Have Been Worse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #embarrassment, #technology, #video call, #zoom, #time, #waste, #meeting, #imbeciles, #mic

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dilbert with dogbert on video call. dilbert: what a waste of time this zoom meeting is. i hate dealing with imbeciles. voice from laptop: your mic is on. dogbert: could have been worse.