Snake Mittens Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

16 Results for Snake Mittens

View 1 - 10 results for snake mittens comic strips. Discover the best "Snake Mittens" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fear, #managers & supervisors, #snake, #cublicle, #culture of fear, #motivate, #short term, #first step, #urinals, #electrified, #office plant, #pain, #tactics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Boss: Did you find the snake in your cubicle? Dilbert: What the...? Boss: I put it there because I'm trying to motivate you with a culture of fear. Dilbert: That only works in the short term! Boss: A leader takes the first step without knowing where the next step will be. So get to work, and by they way, one of the urinals is electrified. It's only set to stun, so don't be a baby about it. Wally: His office plant is clear.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #bragging, #saving, #money, #talking, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Dilbert says, "I'm painting my own house to save money." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "I had spider glands trasplanted into my body so I can make my own silk garments." Dilbert says, "That doesn't seem?" Topper says, "Who wants mittens?!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #company secrets, #Dilbert, #elbonia, #laptop, #mittens, #spies stole

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonia An Elbonian says, "Our spies stole this laptop from an employee named Dilbert." The Elbonian says, "Ha ha! We will find his company's secrets and use them!" Another Elbonian says, "heh-heh." Six months later An Elbonian says, "Do you remember mittens? I loved having mittens." The other Elbonian says, "Shut up!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dismissive and insulting, #eduction, #experience needed, #insulting answer, #snake mittens, #rejected idea

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: What do you think of my idea? " Dilbert: It won't work. MAN: Why not?" Dilbert; Do you want the long answer that you won't understand because you possess neither the experience nor the education needed? Or the dismissive and insulting answer that has the advantage of being quick? Dilbert: Another advantage of the insulting answer is that you can tell people I rejected your idea because I didn't think of it myself. Man: I guess I'll take the insulting answer. Dilbert: Fine. Your idea is dumber than snake mittens. What do you have against snake mittens?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2007's comic on:


Tags #software, #budget, #computer, #tiny mittens, #thermometer, #hell, #your turn, #nice guy, #intern, #abused, #mean coworkers, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Wally in Marketing "Wally, I want you to design our sales collateral." "The trick is to compare our product with things that are even worse." "'Prettier than a skunk sandwich and cooler than a hobo's mittens.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I cannot decide if you are very wise or just a big stupid moron." "Well, I'll tell you, little cowpoke, when the snake falls in love with the spaghetti, it's time to buy a new hat." "You look more flustered than a barefoot squirrel at a tire store." "Gaaa!!! They almost make sense!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #meeting in elbonia, #take a class, #culture, #accidentally offend, #hello, #gestures, #2 meaning gestures

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I want you to attend a meeting for me... It's in Elbonia." "First, you'll need to take a class on their culture so you won't accidently offend them." "This gesture either means "Hello" or "I'd like to see your mittens on my bedroom floor , baby.""

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #product development, #brain storm ideas, #boredom, #chocolate cake, #after lunch, #roast beef mittens

View Transcript

Transcript

Product development The boss: first we'll cover the walls with brain storm ideas. How about something that turns boredom into chocolate cake? The Boss: I should have done this after lunch. Roast beef mittens?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #slither away, #doomed project, #assistant, #teach you, #manager skin, #speaking metaphor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: "You need to slither away from your doomed project before you get blamed." Dogbert: "My assistant will teach you how to shed your project manager skin." Snake: "Yello!" Skeleton: "Ow! Ow! Ow! How's this so far?" Snake: "Impressive, but we were speaking metaphorically."