Stock Market Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

266 Results for Stock Market

View 1 - 10 results for stock market comic strips. Discover the best "Stock Market" comics from Dilbert.com.

Voting Machine Market

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

Target Market

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.

C Level Sacrifice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
C Level Sacrifice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, stock market, technology, brand, board, fire, Politics, ruin, human, sacrifice, chief technology officer, performance, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: the board wants to fire you for speaking out about politics and ruining our brand. ceo: ask if they'll accept a c-level human sacrifice instead. catbert: they said yes. ceo: now fire my cto and tell him it's something about his performance.

Ceo Speaks Out

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Speaks Out - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, political issues, stock, stock market, plunged, voice, injustice, bonus, million, dollars, Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: our stock plunged 30% because you spoke out on a political issue. ceo: no one can silence my voice when i see a great injustice. catbert: this will cost you your entire bonus of $10 million. ceo: what if i agree to never speak again?

Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Wants To Get Involved In Politics  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, political issues, Politics, stock market, technology, company, controversial, predict, impact, drop, earnings, stock, sell, involvement

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo: i've decided our company needs to get more involved in controversial politics. dilbert: wouldn't the predictable impact of that be a huge drop in our earnings? ceo: no, no. people will love us for getting involved. dilbert: can you at least hold off until i sell all of my stock.

Ruined The Stock Price

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ruined The Stock Price  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.

Remote Workforce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Remote Workforce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Lose, market share, remote, workforce, employees, micro management, shoulders, minute, coffee, company, baffle

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we're losing market share to a company that has a remote workforce. dilbert: how can they be doing so well when the employees don't have someone like you looking over their shoulders every minute? boss: i know its baffling.

Dogbert Gets Greenland

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Gets Greenland - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market, business, technology, stock, greenland, sale, mercenary, army, apple, bitcoin

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: wow. my apple stock just went up 1.5%. dogbert: i sold all of my bitcoin to acquire greenland. dilbert: i didn't know it was for sale. dogbert: it wasn't, but luckily a mercenary army was.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, video conference, stock market, money, rich, lost, pandemic, health, underpay, stategy

View Transcript

Transcript

ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Hiring Morons And Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hiring Morons And Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, labor, market, hire, moron, position, ted talk, video, smart

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the labor market is so tight that i had to hire a moron just to fill a position. my plan is to make him watch ted talk videos until he smartens up. dilbert: how many will it take? boss: with any luck, fifteen to seventeen will get it done.