Stop Talking Comic Strips - Page 1

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577 Results for Stop Talking

View 1 - 10 results for stop talking comic strips. Discover the best "Stop Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Negotiates With Elbonia

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Boss Negotiates With Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2019's comic on:

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #government, #money, #partisan politics, #stealing, #negotiate

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Boss: I'm negotiating a deal with the government of Elbonia. They agreed to buy a thousand dollars of our products. All I had to do was agree to let them steal all of our intellectual property. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better for us if they didn't steal our I.P.? Boss: You have to look at the big picture. They also agreed to stop killing tens of thousands of our citizens with their illegal drug shipments. Dilbert: Did they stop? Boss: No, but they said they would. Dilbert: Maybe you should negotiate harder. Boss: And risk losing a thousand dollars of revenue?

Would It Look The Same

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Would It Look The Same - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #smart

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Dilbert: Hypothetically, how would you know if I were dumber than you or much smarter? Because in both cases I would make choices that you wouldn't understand. Wouldn't it look the same to you? Boss: I don't enjoy talking to you.

Wally Writes Fiction

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Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2019's comic on:

Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

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wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Tina Likes To Hum

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Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2019's comic on:

Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

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dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Toxic Employee

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Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #employees

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boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Dilbert Characters

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

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Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2019's comic on:

Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

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the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

How To Reduce Turnover

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How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

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the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

Did You Get My Email

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Did You Get My Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking

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the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.

Never Stop Dreaming

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Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

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the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

And Then Mark Said

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And Then Mark Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2019's comic on:

Tags #anger, #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships

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tina: ...and then mark said... dilbert: stop talking about mark! dilbert is visually angry. dilbert: all you do is talk about mark! i am so sick of mark. please talk about anything but mark. dilbert is still visually angry. tina: someone told me you'd say that. dilbert: was his name -- MARK? dilbert angry.