Successful Man Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Successful Man

View 1 - 10 results for successful man comic strips. Discover the best "Successful Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

Garbage Man Advises On Tails

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Garbage Man Advises On Tails - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Ted Will Train You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, absence, coffee, helpful, problem, successful, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Wally Helps The New Guy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, training, new, employment

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Frequent Victims Club

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey

View Transcript

Transcript

man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Bigot In Your Mind

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bigot In Your Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, boss, marriage, avoid, bigot, mind, self-deception, real world, Win, hire

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

Marriage Takes Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marriage Takes Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, marriage, talk, bigot, job, gay, homosexual, work

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.

Bigoted Against Elbonian Men

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bigoted Against Elbonian Men - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marriage, office workers, elbonia, report, bigot, irrelevant, innocence, prove, sale, flower

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: i'm getting reports that you are bigoted against elbonian men. dilbert: i'm not. catbert: that is irrelevant. there is only one way to prove your innocence. elbonian man: yes, i'll marry you. dilbert holding out flower: i thought it would be a tougher sale.

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Doesn't See Hats - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hat, sarcasm, business, elbonia, big, working, sight, patronizing

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, files, nemesis, assigned, prevent, successful, job, loptop

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Wally Not Remotely Working

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Not Remotely Working - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, success, technology, projects, remote work, work, remote, bed, office, laptop, home

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and wally on video call. boss: wally, have you been successful on your projects while working at home? wally: not remotely. boss: and by that you mean you went into the office and did not work remotely? wally in bed: okay, sure.