Take Training Comic Strips - Page 1

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871 Results for Take Training

View 1 - 10 results for take training comic strips. Discover the best "Take Training" comics from Dilbert.com.

Training Bob The Elbonian

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Training Bob The Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams
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Shadenfreude Training

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Shadenfreude Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Ted Will Train You

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Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #training, #absence, #coffee, #helpful, #problem, #successful, #sarcasm

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boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His

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Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #program, #artificial intelligence, #analyze, #digital, #communications, #kill, #take over, #control, #finances, #password, #a.i.

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.

Wally Helps The New Guy

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Wally Helps The New Guy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #training, #new, #employment

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dilbert: wally, explain to the new guy what he needs to know about the project. wally: our pdr system is downstairs from the qrd data and the bmr, so don't order a gref or else the plr will get boodled. panel shows office building with man jumping out of window, voice: i quit

Asok Sighs Too Much

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Asok Sighs Too Much - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #relationships, #relocate, #sigh, #innocent, #metamorphosis, #question, #cubicle, #intern

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alice: can you relocate asok's cubicle? he sighs to much, and it's bugging me. boss: he sighs because he is metamorphosing from an innocent intern into a disgruntled employee. boss to asok: how long is this gonna take? asok: sigh

Leadership Quality

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Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #managers & supervisors, #firing, #employees, #stimulating, #sociopath, #strong, #leader, #difference

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boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Dilbert Gets A Nemesis

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Dilbert Gets A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #files, #nemesis, #assigned, #prevent, #successful, #job, #loptop

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dilbert and boss on video call. boss: i checked my files, and i see no nemesis has been assigned to you. dilbert: why do i need a nemesis? boss: it prevents you from being successful enough to take my job. dilbert: okay, that makes sense.

Instead Of Handshakes

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Instead Of Handshakes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #handshake, #substitute, #read, #vote, #suggestions, #obscene

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boss in meeting with dilbert and wally. boss: thank you for your suggestions on what we should do instead of shaking hands. i'd like to read a few. and we can take a vote. well, it seems that all of your suggestions are obscene. wally raised hand: i vote yes