Think Alike Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Think Alike

View 1 - 10 results for think alike comic strips. Discover the best "Think Alike" comics from Dilbert.com.

Leadership Quality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #fire, #managers & supervisors, #firing, #employees, #stimulating, #sociopath, #strong, #leader, #difference

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.

View more books now

Pandemic Sales

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pandemic Sales - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #high, #pandemic, #virus, #deadly, #profit, #conscience, #feelings

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.

Marrying An Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marrying An Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Shaking Hands

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?

Project Is Not Feasible

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Is Not Feasible - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #plan, #feasible, #back stab, #defend, #laptop, #cell phone, #competition

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and dilbert on video call. boss: i just talked to ted, and he says your project plan is not feasible. dilbert: i think you mean he mischaracterized my plan and then stabbed me in the back when i wasn't there to defend it. boss: he said you'd say that.

Boss Needs To Be Dumber

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Needs To Be Dumber - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #boss, #smart, #dumb, #technical, #decision, #effective, #influence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i think i'd be more effective at work if my boss were either smarter, so he'd understand me... or dumber, so he'd know it's better to let me make all of the technical decisions. and i can't make him smarter, so my plan is to make him dumber. dogbert: it seems i've been a bad influence.

Loud Using Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #mortgage, #loud, #noise, #calls, #war, #blackmail, #surprise, #laptop, #imagine

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

Think About Long Term

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Think About Long Term - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #long term, #dynamics, #reasonable, #random, #decision, #job, #employment

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.

Not The Smartest

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not The Smartest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #engineers, #smart, #iterate, #technology, #leadership, #incompetence, #excellence, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we might not have the smartest engineers, but we can iterate faster than anyone. dilbert: actually, we do have the smartest engineers, but your leadership incompetence cancels out our excellence. dilbert: and i'll bet you don't know what "iterate" means. boss: i didn't think it would matter.

Feedback To Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Feedback To Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #feedback, #performance, #boss, #trap, #constructive, #criticism, #perfect, #almost, #anger, #honest

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ted, i want your honest feedback on how i'm doing as your boss. ted: this feels like a trap. boss: not at all! i love constructive criticism! ted: i think you're almost perfect. boss yelling: almost?