Threat Comic Strips - Page 1
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53 Results for Threat
View 1 - 10 results for threat comic strips. Discover the best "Threat" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 23,
2020
Wise Person Said
Tags business, wise, person, boil, stick, egg, Advice, proverb, threat, overrate
Transcript
asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated
Sunday July 28,
2019
Bad Hair Day
Tags angry, boss, employees, employment, hair, hairstyles, meetings, threat, warning
Transcript
Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.
Monday May 13,
2019
Elbonian Cyber Threat Meeting
Tags business, meeting, office, office workers, elbonian, cyber threat
Transcript
the boss: what are we doing about the elbonian cyber threat? dilbert: i called a meeting for tomorrow to come up with a plan for dealing with it. the boss: your weak response proves you are an elbonian spy. dilbert: what? to be continued...
Friday January 25,
2019
Self Driving Car Named Carl
Tags automobile driving, cars, intelligence, sarcasm, technology, threat
Transcript
The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.
Saturday December 29,
2018
Alice Gets Mandatory Training
Tags complaining, office workers, punishment, threat
Transcript
Alice: I can't work with old Ned. He's a sexist, racist, bigoted troglodyte. Catbert: Name-calling is not allowed in this company. I sentence you to three weeks of mandatory training. Alice: I could trangle you with your own tail. Catbert: Six weeks!
Saturday December 01,
2018
Workplace Bully
Tags boss, bully, managers & supervisors, office workers, threat, work
Transcript
Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.
Wednesday August 22,
2018
Jerry The Contract Employee
Tags threat, Dilbert, the boss, jerry, contract, zebra, agile
Transcript
The Boss: This is Jerry the contract employee. I hired him to work on project zebra. Dilbert: We haven't even defined the project. How did you know what skills we needed? The Boss: Why are you so threatened by jerry? Jerry: He's not very agile.
Wednesday July 18,
2018
Elbonian Ninjas
Tags controversy, offense, offensive, threat, murder, ninja, optimism
Transcript
Boss: The sales video you made for our Elbonian market is causing a public relations crisis. Their government has ordered Elbonian ninjas to kill you in your sleep. Dilbert: In my sleep? The best way to die! Boss: Stop confusing my bad news with your good news.
Monday March 19,
2018
Porch Thief Is Neutralized
Tags violence, retaliation, delivery, package, stealing, theft, ring, technology
Transcript
Alice: Uh-oh. My home security system is showing a thief stealing a package from my front door. Activating particle beam defense. The threat has been neutralized. Dilbert: When you say "neutralized," does that mean... Alice: Activating crime scene cleanup drone.
Friday March 09,
2018
Boss Loves Criticism
Tags mentor, mentee, protege, Advice, competition, deception
Transcript
Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"

