Three Readers Comic Strips - Page 1
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358 Results for Three Readers
View 1 - 10 results for three readers comic strips. Discover the best "Three Readers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 22,
2022
Wally Had Three Jobs
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday June 16,
2021
Tina Is Late For Revenge
Tags business, office workers, late, meeting, punctual, three, minutes, plotting, revenge, sarcasm, october
Transcript
dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird
Saturday April 03,
2021
Only One Thing Ceo Can Do
Tags business ethics, business, press, subordinates, inapproriate, behavior, quit, murder, correct
Transcript
ceo: the press is all over me because seventy-three subordinates accused me of inappropriate behavior. there's only one thing i can do. boss: quit. ceo thinking: now i know who to murder to divert the press. boss: am i right?
Thursday April 01,
2021
Ruined The Stock Price
Tags business, technology, stock, subordinate, inappropriate, behavior, bonus, money, paper towel, ceo, work
Transcript
boss: our stock is down because seventy-three subordinates accused our ceo of inappropriate behavior at work. so i can't give you a bonus even though your work was excellent. co-worker's head explodes: Boom!!! Carol: how'd he take it? Boss: grab some paper towels.
Tuesday March 30,
2021
Dogbert Crisis Consultant
Tags business, managers & supervisors, subordinates, allegations, crisis, consultant, statement, lying, dumb, believe, public, legal, defense
Transcript
dogbert: my job as a crisis consultant is to help you respond to the allegations from seventy-three of your past and present subordinates. i'll issue a statement from you saying everyone of them is lying. ceo: who would be dumb enough to believe that? dogbert: i call them "the public."
Monday March 29,
2021
Ceo Is Accused
Tags business, complaint, managers & supervisors, subordinate, accuse, inappropriate, crime, hug, defense, legal
Transcript
catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.
Thursday December 24,
2020
Wally Does Three Jobs
Tags business, money, fortune, employer, employment, working from home, job, manage, expectations, people
Transcript
wally and dilbert on video conference call. wally: i'm making a fortune working from home. three different employers think i work only for them. dilbert: how do you do three jobs at the same time: wally: it comes down to managing other people's expectations.
Sunday November 01,
2020
Can You Zoom Now
Tags business, technology, text message, video conference, zoom, call, response, anger, lack of response
Transcript
dilbert sending text: are you available for a zoom call? dilbert thinking: he's typing something. nope, he stopped. okay, he's typing again. no, he stopped again. block of text: i'm available at 2 p.m. tomorrow, Thursday at 9 a.m., or next week any time after three, and now. dilbert sending text: perfect. how about now? dilbert thinking: answer coming. no, he stopped typing. ten minutes later: dilbert angry and yelling: answer me, you jerk!!! thirty minutes later: text answer: does now work? dilbert yelling: too late!!!
Wednesday July 29,
2020
Bad Judge Of Character
Tags business, managers & supervisors, bad, judge, character, hire, termite, clothes, disguise, youtube, makeup, video
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i'm starting to think i'm a bad judge of character. the last three people i hired turned out to be termite colonies in clothes. dilbert in face mask: how did they disguise the face part? boss: they learned from youtube makeup videos.
Sunday June 07,
2020
Should Have Done It Sooner
Tags business, dollars, failure, managers & supervisors, patch, payroll, problem, raise, savings, software, technology, years
Transcript
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.