Title Metaphoric Comic Strips - Page 1

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42 Results for Title Metaphoric

View 1 - 10 results for title metaphoric comic strips. Discover the best "Title Metaphoric" comics from Dilbert.com.

Title Promotion

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Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #recognition, #outstanding, #work, #pandemic, #title, #Promotion, #stupid, #raise, #ungrateful, #engineer

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boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Dogbert Is Selective

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Dogbert Is Selective - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #consultant, #crisis, #selective, #client, #jail, #Advice, #folksy, #wisdom

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title: dogbert the crisis consultant. dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dogbert: i'm very selective about my clients. that's because clients who take my advice usually end up in jail. so i only take clients i hate. dilbert: i like your folksy wisdom.

Requesting The Slightest Change

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Requesting The Slightest Change - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web, #internet, #site, #code, #coding, #development, #deadline, #delay, #time, #technology

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Boss: Will our new website be live this week? Developer: That depends. If you request even the slightest change, it could set things back for months. Boss: I only want to change the homepage title font. Developer: Oh, great. I should be done by next summer.

Wally The Thought Leader

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Wally The Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #title, #leadership, #work ethic, #laziness, #strategy, #ruse

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Man: Wally, can you help me... Wally: Whoa! Stop right there. I'm a thought leader, not some wage slave. Man: What do thought leaders do? Wally: You're watching it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pantless weasel, #search engine, #optimization, #game the system, #accomplice, #corrupt integrity

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Boss: I hired a pantless weasel yo do our search engine optimization. Boss: He'll help us gas the system and corrupt the integrity of all internet search results for our industry. Boss: Your new job title is "accomplice"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inventions, #thinking, #creative, #teacher, #business card, #ideationista, #education

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Boss: I hired Ken to teach us how to be more creative. According to his business card, his title is "ideationista." Ken: That was some of my best work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #title, #meaningless, #proud, #mean, #cruel, #deflated, #orders, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #title, #janitor, #proud, #happy, #ridiculous

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Floyd, I'm giving you a c-level title." Dogbert says, "You'll be the chief janitorial officer, in charge of all dirt, germs, dead critters and problematic excretions." Man says, "Is it because I'm so important?" Dogbert says, "What answer would make you clean up poop faster?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #code monkey, #dreams, #evil director, #less work, #software simian, #architect, #engineering

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"