Top Rating Comic Strips - Page 1

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177 Results for Top Rating

View 1 - 10 results for top rating comic strips. Discover the best "Top Rating" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Top 10% Employee

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I'm Not A Racist

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I'm Not A Racist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, racism, racist, woke, demands, sacrifice, spare, proof

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dilbert: there's a mob of woke people surrounding our building. they demand a human sacrifice. boss: fetch the spare racist i hired for that purpose. male co-worker hanging from a rod outside top level of office tower: i'm not a racist! really i'm not! voice from inside the building: he can't prove that!

Elbonian Words

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Elbonian Words - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, elbonian, headquarters, language, factory, Word

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boss: headquarters has released a new list of things you are not supposed to say when visiting our elbonian factory. at the top of the list, never say "glfalawah" to an elbonian. alice: because it means something naughty? boss: because it isn't a word.

Dilbert Organizes The Lab

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Dilbert Organizes The Lab  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags sarcasm, business, tech, lab, reorganize, co-workers, grateful

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dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.

Mindless Tasks

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Mindless Tasks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, despondent, tasks, mindless

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dilbert thinking: looks like it will be another full day of interacting with people i wouldn't pull out of a burning car even if i were made of asbestos. my only hope is to stay busy doing mindless tasks. dilbert: do you have any mindless tasks for me? boss: take one from the top of the pile.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career, employees, office, office workers, training, trick, sabatoge

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Boss: Wally will train you for your new job. You'll need to figure out how much of what he says is real training and how much is career sabotage. Man: Career sabotage? Boss: Employees don't like competition. Only the top 20% get bonuses. They'll do what they can to keep you out of that group. Man: I assume you're exaggerating. Boss: You'll see. Wally: Has anyone told you about no-pants Fridays?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, Wally, computer, problem, crumbs, crosstalk, protocols, help

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Carol: Wally, can you help me with a computer problem? Wally: People usually don't ask me for help. Carol: Why is that? Wally: You'll find out. Carol: I can't log in to the server. Wally: I'll need to ask you a few questions. Have you ever eaten food near your computer. Carol: Um... Yes. Wally: That's your problem. Wally: Your crumbs are causing crosstalk on the protocols. Carol: Is this why no one asks you for help? Wally: It's in the top ten.

Device Can Read Minds

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Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, device, read, thoughts, turn, computer, commands, theories, engineer, engineering, invention, nothing, broken

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.