Trying To Please Comic Strips - Page 1

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494 Results for Trying To Please

View 1 - 10 results for trying to please comic strips. Discover the best "Trying To Please" comics from Dilbert.com.

Video Lunch Meeting Rules

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Video Lunch Meeting Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #meeting, #zoom lunch meeting, #zoom, #lunch, #beaver, #dam, #bubblewrap, #ugly, #eater, #video, #off, #on, #sarcasm, #microphone

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alice: welcome to our first zoom lunch meeting. if you chew louder than a beaver making a dam out of bubble wrap, please turn off your microphone. and if you are an ugly eater... voice from laptop: we get it. turn the video off.

Chewing A Pen

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Chewing A Pen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #video call, #camera, #chewing, #pen, #house, #nose, #address

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alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?

Make Us Look Good

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Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #press release, #company, #support, #social, #issues, #complaining, #awesome, #research, #appearances

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ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Cameras Can See You

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Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee

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boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Loud Using Zoom

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Loud Using Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #zoom, #mortgage, #loud, #noise, #calls, #war, #blackmail, #surprise, #laptop, #imagine

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dogbert: can you please stop talking so loudly on your zoom calls?!!! dilbert at home in front of laptop: i'm sorry, but i pay the mortgage, and i have a right to make as much noise as i want in my own house. dogbert: oh, wow. did you really play the "mortgage card" on me? dogbert: this is war! wait until you see what i do in the background of your next zoom call. i don't want to ruin the surprise, but think of the number-one worst thing you can imagine me doing. are you picturing it in your mind? it's bad isn't it? now imagine at the same time i also start doing the second-worst thing you can imagine. dilbert: noooo!!!!

Pandemic Vacation Days

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Pandemic Vacation Days - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company policy, #video conference, #vacation day, #vacation, #company rule, #pandemic, #go, #solve, #problem, #laptop

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boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.

Traumatic Story

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Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

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salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

You Make Luck

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You Make Luck - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #luck, #wisdom, #rewiring, #super, #employee, #double, #workload, #brain, #rewire, #monster

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boss: remember, asok, you don't find luck, you go out and make it. asok yelling and waving arms: i feel your wisdom rewiring my brain and turning me into a super-employee! boss: it usually doesn't work this fast. asok: please double my workload, you beautiful monster!

Gaming The System

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Gaming The System - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #wrong, #believe, #system, #project

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boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.

Robot Calls

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Robot Calls - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #robot, #intelligence, #human, #indistinguishable, #Number, #recognize, #rule, #earth

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voice coming from phone: as soon as robot intelligence is indistinguishable from home, the robots will rule the earth! dilbert: i don't recognize this number. who are you? please don't say a robot. voice: let's just say only one of us will rot.