Turn On And Off Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

717 Results for Turn On And Off

View 1 - 10 results for turn on and off comic strips. Discover the best "Turn On And Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Wears Headphones

Thank you for voting.
Wally Wears Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #avoidance, #hear, #headphones

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you have a minute? Wally: I can't hear you because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Maybe you could take them off for a minute. Wally: I have no idea what you are saying because I'm wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Alice: Then take them off! Wally: If I am reading your lips correctly, I believe you are asking me to "flurp tingo gloop". Alice: Forget it! I'll just let my project fail! Dilbert: How is your anti-co-worker defense system working out? Wally: I can't hear you.

Boss Makes Document Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Boss Makes Document Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.

Poor Communication Skills

Thank you for voting.
Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #communication, #employees, #office, #office workers, #questions, #projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

The New Consultant

Thank you for voting.
The New Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

the new consultant: i'll need the support of every department to make this project a success. boss: i won't get any credit if your project succeeds, and you'll be gone in a month. consultant: can i count on you to not sabotage the project? boss: you're coming off as needy.

Boss Surgery

Thank you for voting.
Boss Surgery - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #brain, #employees, #insults, #surgery

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: There's a new surgery that can turn employees into bosses. Boss: How can surgery turn an employee into a boss? Dr: You won't be needing this.

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

Thank you for voting.
Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

Zombie Projects

Thank you for voting.
Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #zombie, #sloth, #fail, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.

How To Reduce Turnover

Thank you for voting.
How To Reduce Turnover - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #success, #turnover, #pay

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm looking for ideas on how to reduce turnover. dilbert: maybe you could increase our pay and stop thwarting our chances for success at every turn. the boss: i'll ask someone else.

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Bad Planning

Thank you for voting.
Bad Planning - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #teamwork, #team, #deadline

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i need your help on my project today, or i'll miss my deadline. dilbert: are you trying to turn your lack of planning into my problem? ted: i was hoping you would be a team player. dilbert: i'm holding out for an offer from a better team.