Voice Mailbox Comic Strips - Page 1

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145 Results for Voice Mailbox

View 1 - 10 results for voice mailbox comic strips. Discover the best "Voice Mailbox" comics from Dilbert.com.

Vendor Not Performing

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Vendor Not Performing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #vendor, #performance, #replace, #parent, #company, #subsidiaries, #sub-contract

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dilbert: we will no longer be using you as a vendor because you have not performed. vendor employee: i already knew that because you replaced us with one of the subsidiaries of my parent company. dilbert: well, at least it isn't you. vendor employee voice on phone: who do think they sub-contract that work to?

Buzzflawed Interview

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Buzzflawed Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question

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carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense

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dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!

Dogbert's Tech Support

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Dogbert's Tech Support  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #technology, #office worker, #product, #climate, #change, #Environment, #recycle

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Dogbert's tech support female office worker: i can't figure out how to use your product. dogbert: the problem is climate change. there is nothing you can do. office worker: there must be something i can do. dogbert's voice from phone: do you recycle?

Memory Science

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Memory Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #memory, #office workers, #restaurant workers, #sarcasm, #science, #presentation

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Wally: According to the science of memory, you are likely to forget ninety percent of what I present today. So I got rid of ninety percent of my slides to focus on the one slide that matters. Voice: Or were you too lazy to make more than one slide? Wally: I already forgot ninety percent of what you just said.

Thanking Everyone By Name

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Thanking Everyone By Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #name

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boss: i'd like to thank each member of the team by name...i'll start with what's-his-face here. voice from crowd: it's dilbert. boss: no, that's not it. you look like steve.

Wally Uses Speakerphonetif

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Wally Uses Speakerphonetif - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #office, #office workers, #speaker phone, #voice-texting, #click

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the boss: i asked you to stop using your speaker-phone because it was disturbing your co-workers. the boss: now they tell me you started doing voice-texting, which is even worse. wally: okay fine. later that day. alice visually upset and yelling: turn off your keyboard click sound! wally's cell phone: click click click.

Dogbert's Self Defense School

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Dogbert's Self Defense School - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #employees, #enemies, #murder, #office workers, #training, #manipulation, #defense

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Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's school of unconventional self-defense. I'm handing out a list of my personal enemies. Your homework is to kill them before sunrise. Voice: That isn't self-defense. Dogbert: Wow. All you can think about is you, you, you.

Company Cheer

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Company Cheer  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations

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Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.

Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People

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Dilbert Teaches The Dumb People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2018's comic on:


Tags #computers, #insults, #marketing, #office workers, #sales, #teaching, #smart

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Dilbert: My boss asked me to teach a class on coding because it is hard to find programmers in this job market. Are there any smart people in the class or do you all work in marketing and sales? Voice: What's that supposed to mean? Dilbert: Thank you. Is anyone else in sales?