wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one.
boss: wow!
dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive?
wally: no, but it does make me lie better.
wally with coffee: i've had a lot of side effects since i switched to medical-grade coffee. on the plus side, i can see through plywood, and i no longer need a tool to open jars.
dilbert: you couldn't open jars before?
wally: let's not dwell on that point.
wally in doctor's office: i drink so much coffee that i developed a tolerance for it. do you have any kind of medical-grade coffee that could take me to the next level?
doctor: yes, but it has terrible side effects.
wally: skip the details and shove it in my veins.
wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason.
boss: but you got it to work in the end?
wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers.
boss: how do you plan to solve that?
wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.
