Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 1
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1000 Results for Waste Time
View 1 - 10 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday January 13,
2022
Unlimited Vacation Time
Tuesday November 23,
2021
Plan To Be On Time
Wednesday June 16,
2021
Tina Is Late For Revenge
Tags business, office workers, late, meeting, punctual, three, minutes, plotting, revenge, sarcasm, october
Transcript
dilbert: you're late. tina: how do you like it? you were three minutes late that one time last october. dilbert: and you've been plotting your revenge since then? tina: it isn't weird
Sunday June 13,
2021
Non Disclosure Denied
Tags business, sales, sales personnel, nondisclosure agreement, product, new, waste, refusal, sign, company, vendor, lawyer, idiot
Transcript
salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.
Monday June 07,
2021
Never Admit You Are Wrong
Tags business, office relationships, wrong, admit, pride, cumulative, clouds, speachless, example
Transcript
tina: you never admit you're wrong. dilbert: give me one example of that. tina: well, for example, there was the time you said there were no such things as "cumulative" clouds. panel changes to office building. tina: to this day, you have not admitted you were wrong. dilbert: um...
Thursday June 03,
2021
Pandemic Sales
Tags business, sales, high, pandemic, virus, deadly, profit, conscience, feelings
Transcript
boss in meeting with dilbert and alice. boss: thanks to the pandemic, our sales are at an all-time high. dilbert: shouldn't we feel guilty for profiting from a deadly virus? boss: i think if we were going to feel that, it would have kicked in by now.
Sunday May 30,
2021
Frequent Victims Club
Tags business, join, frequent, victim, club, beverage, minute, dollar, track, purchases, sell, data, colleagues, stores, customer, servey
Transcript
man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.
Saturday May 15,
2021
Universe Preparing Problems
Tags business, universe, preparing, problems, anger, laptop, hate
Transcript
dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.
Sunday May 02,
2021
Remote Workers Do Not Mate
Tags appearance, dating, love & dating, walking, outdoors, dating app, woman, app, reproduction, inner qualities, goodbye, genes
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert walking outside. dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks. obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities. we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe.
Friday April 23,
2021
Zoom Could Have Been Worse
Tags business, embarrassment, technology, video call, zoom, time, waste, meeting, imbeciles, mic
Transcript
dilbert with dogbert on video call. dilbert: what a waste of time this zoom meeting is. i hate dealing with imbeciles. voice from laptop: your mic is on. dogbert: could have been worse.

