Whats Happening? Comic Strips - Page 1
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447 Results for Whats Happening?
View 1 - 10 results for whats happening? comic strips. Discover the best "Whats Happening?" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 08,
2021
No Purpose
Tags #beauty, #deck, #creation, #water, #hydrate, #well-being, #no friends, #no purpose, #better
Transcript
dilbert: i just spent thirty minutes admiring the beauty of the slide deck i created yesterday. i'm going back for another round after i hydrate. voice from outside frame: what's it like having no friends and no purpose? dilbert: it's a lot better than you'd think.
Sunday June 20,
2021
Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His
Tags #business, #technology, #program, #artificial intelligence, #analyze, #digital, #communications, #kill, #take over, #control, #finances, #password, #a.i.
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.
Saturday June 12,
2021
Another Zoom Meeting
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #meetings, #zoom, #scheduled, #emptiness, #soul, #overeating, #Advice
Transcript
dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.
Saturday May 29,
2021
Chewing A Pen
Tags #technology, #business, #video call, #camera, #chewing, #pen, #house, #nose, #address
Transcript
alice on video call. alice: please stop leaning into the camera while chewing the end of your pen. it makes me want to drive to your house and shove that pen up your nose. male office worker: but you won't do that, right? alice: what's your address?
Saturday May 15,
2021
Universe Preparing Problems
Tags #business, #universe, #preparing, #problems, #anger, #laptop, #hate
Transcript
dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.
Wednesday May 12,
2021
Marrying An Elbonian
Tags #business, #elbonia, #accusations, #marriage, #plan, #job, #name, #sarcasm, #bigot
Transcript
dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.
Sunday May 09,
2021
Boss Isn't Fair
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #project, #fair, #repeating, #bump, #head
Transcript
dilbert and ceo on video call. dilbert: it isn't fair that alice gets all the best projects. boss: and what's your point? dilbert: it's not fair. boss: you already said that. dilbert: you should do something to make it more fair. boss: why? dilbert: because it's not fair? boss: did you bump your head?
Wednesday April 07,
2021
Title Promotion
Tags #business, #technology, #recognition, #outstanding, #work, #pandemic, #title, #Promotion, #stupid, #raise, #ungrateful, #engineer
Transcript
boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."
Monday March 29,
2021
Ceo Is Accused
Tags #business, #complaint, #managers & supervisors, #subordinate, #accuse, #inappropriate, #crime, #hug, #defense, #legal
Transcript
catbert: seventy-three subordinates are accusing you of inappropriate behavior. ceo: i don't see what's so "inappropriate" about threatening to ruin a subordinate's career unless i get a hug. catbert: you know that's a crime, right? ceo: maybe i shouldn't handle my own defense.
Friday March 26,
2021
Shelves Are Ugly
Tags #business, #technology, #video call, #background, #attractive, #shelf, #lawn mower, #gym, #human, #decency, #rude, #laptop
Transcript
Dilbert on video call. voice from laptop: what's that behind you on the shelf? can't you make your background more attractive? dilbert: if we're being that way, who cuts your hair? your lawn mower? voice from laptop: did your gym go out of business? dilbert: i already miss our last shred of human decency.