Win Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

95 Results for Win

View 1 - 10 results for win comic strips. Discover the best "Win" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bigot In Your Mind

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bigot In Your Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #marriage, #avoid, #bigot, #mind, #self-deception, #real world, #Win, #hire

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

I'm A Loseer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I'm A Loseer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #idea, #office workers, #ridiculous, #problem, #loser, #Win, #Lose, #feeling

View Transcript

Transcript

colleague: your idea is ridiculous and it will never work! oh, wait... i just realized the real problem here is that i'm a loser who doesn't want anyone else to win. dilbert: that's something you don't see often. colleague: okay, the feeling passed.

Boss Wins In Arbitration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wins In Arbitration  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #arbitration, #bribery, #business, #covid, #employment, #fired, #job, #pandemic, #racism, #rotten, #system, #white supremacist, #Win

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.

To Do List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #list, #self management, #success, #tasks, #to do list, #Win

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: i accomplished fifteen tasks on my to-do list today. that leaves only seven hundred tasks, not counting the twenty-three i added today. dilbert to dogbert: i wonder what winning feels like. dogbert: it's great.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Bet My Life On It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bet My Life On It  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relationship, #office, #business, #argue, #agree, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: are you sure? boss: i'd bet my life on it. dogbert: i'd bet your life on it, too. dogbert: i'd win either way. dogbert: i can't tell if we're agreeing.

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

Circular Debating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Never Give Reasons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Give Reasons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #debates, #internet, #Opinion, #social media, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Internet Debate Coach Dogbert: Never give reasons for your opinions. That only gives your opponent fodder for proving you're an idiot. Asok: Then how can I win a debate on social media? Dogbert: No one knows. It has never been done.