Win Nobel Prize Comic Strips - Page 1

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

106 Results for Win Nobel Prize

View 1 - 10 results for win nobel prize comic strips. Discover the best "Win Nobel Prize" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Wins In Arbitration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wins In Arbitration  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #arbitration, #bribery, #business, #covid, #employment, #fired, #job, #pandemic, #racism, #rotten, #system, #white supremacist, #Win

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.

To Do List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
To Do List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #list, #self management, #success, #tasks, #to do list, #Win

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: i accomplished fifteen tasks on my to-do list today. that leaves only seven hundred tasks, not counting the twenty-three i added today. dilbert to dogbert: i wonder what winning feels like. dogbert: it's great.

Time Stands Still

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #phone, #search, #time, #bored, #Win, #still

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Bet My Life On It

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bet My Life On It  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #relationship, #office, #business, #argue, #agree, #life

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: are you sure? boss: i'd bet my life on it. dogbert: i'd bet your life on it, too. dogbert: i'd win either way. dogbert: i can't tell if we're agreeing.

Employer Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employer Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #advertising, #managers & supervisors, #employer, #year, #million dollars, #attitude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm proud to announce that we've been named "employer of the year." dilbert: how much did that cost? boss: nothing! all we had to do was buy a million dollars' worth of ads. dilbert: did we need those ads? boss: you won't win any awards with that attitude.

Circular Debating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Circular Debating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #debates, #frustration, #moon, #conspiracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Thanks to my new circular debating technique. I haven't lost a debate in weeks. Watch this. The moon landing was a hoax. Man: No, it wasn't. Wally: The flag was moving in the wind. Man: I'll send you a link debunking the flag thing. Wally: Okay, but how do you explain the multiple light sources? Man: Here's another link debunking that claim. Fifteen minutes later Man: I have now debunked all ten of your ridiculous claims will you agree the moon landing was real? Wally: How do you explain the flag moving? Man: Gaaaa!!! I give up!! You win!!!

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

Never Give Reasons

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Never Give Reasons  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #debates, #internet, #Opinion, #social media, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Internet Debate Coach Dogbert: Never give reasons for your opinions. That only gives your opponent fodder for proving you're an idiot. Asok: Then how can I win a debate on social media? Dogbert: No one knows. It has never been done.

Best Places To Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Places To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #employment, #irony, #lying, #managers & supervisors, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're trying to get on "best places to work" list. If you agree to lie on the survey, maybe we can attract some good employees to make this a best place to work. Dilbert: What? Boss: Keep your eye on the prize.

Boss Loses Wife And Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Loses Wife And Money  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #role model, #aspiration, #gambler, #gambling, #money, #Win, #Lose, #success, #quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?