Work Hard To Win Comic Strips - Page 1

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View 1 - 10 results for work hard to win comic strips. Discover the best "Work Hard To Win" comics from Dilbert.com.

Disagreement Sides

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Disagreement Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #disagreement, #Opinion, #facts, #agreement, #sides

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tina: i'm having a disagreement with alice, and i want you to side with me. dilbert: how about i make up my own mind based on the facts? tina: that's not going to work for me.

Too Busy To Train

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Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #two, #replacement, #quit, #death, #stare, #new, #person, #sarcasm

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dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

Another Zoom Meeting

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Another Zoom Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #meetings, #zoom, #scheduled, #emptiness, #soul, #overeating, #Advice

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dilbert on zoom call with boss. boss: we're having another zoom meeting at 4 p.m. dilbert: what's the topic? boss: its about how i fill the deep emptiness of my soul by scheduling zoom meetings. dilbert: have you tried overeating? that seems to work for me.

Deleting Before Audit

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Deleting Before Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #auditor, #suspect, #delete, #database, #believe, #incriminating, #hide

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internal auditor: i find it hard to believe you "accidentally" deleted a database just as i arrived. it makes me suspect you tried to hide something incriminating. boss: sounds like reasonable doubt to me.

Dilbert Makes A Friend

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Dilbert Makes A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #work, #news, #friend, #social media, #monster, #check, #fooled, #posts

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work. dogbert: have you checked his social media posts? dilbert yelling: he's a monster! dogbert: that's why we check.

Nominate A Coworker

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Nominate A Coworker - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #months, #recommendations, #co-workers, #office workers, #recognize, #superior, #work, #nominated, #honest, #idea, #coffee

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boss: two months ago, i asked you all for recommendations on co-workers who should be recognized for superior work. on day one, you all nominated yourselves. since then it has been quiet. dilbert: if i'm being honest, it wasn't one of your brightest ideas.

Million Dollar Bonuses

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Million Dollar Bonuses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #deadline, #project, #million-dollar, #recommendation, #lying, #clock, #weeks, #spirit, #bonus, #mad, #finished, #no, #laptop, #coffee

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boss: if you finish by the deadline, i'll recommend you for a million dollar bonus. dilbert: you're lying. boss: i'm serious. dilbert: but you're also lying. boss: only one way to find out. dilbert: i'd need to work around the clock for weeks to meet the deadline. boss: that's the spirit! dilbert: if you're lying about the bonus, i'm going to be boiling mad. five weeks later. dilbert: it nearly killed me, but i finished by the deadline. where's my million dollar bonus. boss: i told you i'd recommend it. they said no.

Wally Works At Home Unsafely

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Wally Works At Home Unsafely - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #warning, #unsafe, #workplace, #work at home, #remote, #live, #judging, #personality, #toxic, #dump, #lazy, #clean, #lucky, #guess, #neighbors, #curtains, #laptop

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wally on video call with catbert: catbert: i'm issuing you a warning for your unsafe workplace. wally: i work from home. you've never seen where i live. catbert: i'm judging by your personality. you're too lazy to clean anything up, so by now it's a toxic dump. wally: that's a lucky guess. catbert: and you're too lazy to close your curtains, so by now your neighbors want to murder you. wally: that's two lucky guesses.

Bigot In Your Mind

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Bigot In Your Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #boss, #marriage, #avoid, #bigot, #mind, #self-deception, #real world, #Win, #hire

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boss: i hear you're marrying an elbonian man to avoid being called a bigot. but it doesn't work that way. you can still be a bigot in your mind, no matter what you do in the real world. dilbert: so... there's no way to win? boss: did i forget to tell you that when i hired you?

Marriage Takes Work

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Marriage Takes Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #communication, #marriage, #talk, #bigot, #job, #gay, #homosexual, #work

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dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.