2017 Comic Strips - Page 1
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Character
Sunday December 31,
2017
Tags artificial intelligence, ai, alexa, echo, google home, personality, psychology
Transcript
Dilbert: I made a huge breakthrough in artificial intelligence. Ask the device anything. Boss: What do you want for dinner? Device: I don't care. What do you want? Boss: I was thinking maybe Chinese food. Device: I'm not in the mood for that. Boss: Then why did you say you don't care?? Device: Now I'm not even hungry. Boss: Why? What's wrong? Device: Nothing is wrong. Boss: you nailed it.
Saturday December 30,
2017
The Problem Is Humans
Tags culture, consultant, human nature, company culture, business
Transcript
Boss: Our consultant has studied our corporate culture and isolated the problem. Dogbert: The problem is humans. You're all selfish, rotten liars. Boss: What kind of team-building exercise will fix that? Dogbert: I'd try something involving DNA and alien technology.
Friday December 29,
2017
Insurance For Phones
Tags cell phone, technology, insurance, break, screen, cracked
Transcript
Dilbert: The company that insures our mobile phone product is angry because 100 percent of our phones break in the first minute. They say it's a disaster and it is putting them out of business. What should I tell them? Boss: Tell them they should have gotten some sort of insurance.
Thursday December 28,
2017
Asok's Phone Case
Tags cell phone, aesthetics, impractical, practicality, break, screen, technology
Transcript
Asok: I kept dropping my phone and breaking it, so now I keep it wrapped in a big ball of cotton. Wally: Why would you buy a phone that breaks so easily? Asok: I like the way it looks.
Wednesday December 27,
2017
Winning Design Awards
Tags design, fragile, cell phone, crack, screen, evil, technology
Transcript
Boss: 100 percent of our smartphone buyers dropped and broke their phones within one minute of unboxing them. Despite our slippery materials and brittle design, customers blamed themselves. And we won seven prestigious design awards. CEO: Yes!
Tuesday December 26,
2017
Cracked Screen
Tags phone, cell phone, fragile, design, screen, case, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Introducing our new mobile phone product, the BSB 100. BSB stands for Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle. Oops. Voice: What's the 100 stand for? Dilbert: That's how many times you'll have to replace a cracked screen.
Monday December 25,
2017
Beautiful, Slippery, Brittle
Tags technology, cell phones, fragile, aesthetics, vanity
Transcript
Boss: When you engineer our new mobile phone product, make sure you adhere to the BSB design principle. Dilbert: BSB? Boss: Beautiful, slippery, brittle. Dilbert: Isn't that sort of evil? Boss: It isn't our fault if customers don't buy an ugly case.
Sunday December 24,
2017
Tags military, office workers, survival, hero
Transcript
Boss: This is our new employee, Mark. Mark was a navy SEAL. He fought in three separate conflicts. He once fought off a hundred insurgents and saved a town. Show Mark how we roll at this company. Dilbert: Today I'll be reformatting my PowerPoint deck because someone said the design is not organic. Mark: What's that mean? Dilbert: It doesn't matter. I'll just push some things around and hope the guy who complained doesn't attend the next meeting. Mark: How do you survive this place? Dilbert: I don't like to use the word "hero."
Saturday December 23,
2017
Homeland Security Risk
Tags homeland security, awareness, consciousness, terrorism
Transcript
Agent: Homeland Security has identified you as a risk of being radicalized online. Dilbert: Is it because I'm a single male, I hate my job, and no one loves me? Agent: We didn't know about that stuff. Now I have to call in a drone strike.
Friday December 22,
2017
Human Sensation Slipping Away
Tags addiction, humanity, technology, existentialism, existential crisis, awareness
Transcript
Dilbert: My sensation of being human is slipping away. My car practically drives itself, and the apps on my phone control my brain. I feel as if I need to do something stupid just to feel alive. Carol: Homeland security?

