Another War Comic Strips - Page 1
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Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"
The caption says, "Dilbert takes Elbonia Airlines. He's been asked to negotiate an end to the Elbonian civil war." An Elbonian man places Dilbert and his suitcase in a giant slingshot. Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I can succeed if I find some way to impress the rebel leader they call 'The Fox.'" Dilbert lands on an Elbonian man. Another Elbonian yells, "The Fox is dead!!"
The Boss says, "Alice, I'm sending you to cultural sensitivity training before we meet with the Elbonians." The Boss says, "Last time you almost started a war." Alice says, "I made one little mistake." FLASHBACK Alice says, "And here's another way the women in my country are different." POW!!!
Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.
Dilbert: This might look like an ordinary Powerpoint slide. But it is actually a portal to another dimension in which fantasy and reality have traded places. Boss: Stop playing with my slides. Dilbert: Beware the horned beast that crosses over.
Boss: Someone sent me another anonymous email with a link to an article about the world's worst bosses. I get one of those emails every time I leave your cubicle. Did you think I wouldn't notice the correlation? Wally: Correlation does not imply causation.
Boss: We're going into the tablet computer business. And by that I mean other companies will make the product and we'll design the logo. And by that I mean we'll pay another company to design the logo for us. Alice: Can we watch?
A caption identifies a young man as a "worried teenager." Dogbert approaches the teenager on the sidewalk and asks, "What's wrong with you?" The boy replies, "WOOD . . . What happens if we cut down all the trees?? We'll have to declare war on Norway and take their wood! I'll be drafted! I hate fiords." Dogbert yells, "Pimple attack!" A huge pimple sprouts on the boy's face.
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. A newscaster says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia erupted in civil war." In Elbonia, a television reporter holds a microphone toward two Elbonians and asks, "What caused you to turn your weapons on your own people?" One Elbonian asks, "Weapons? We can use weapons?" The other Elbonian puts his hands on his hips and says, "Well, no wonder it was taking so long."
Dilbert stands in the middle of a crowd of Elbonians, spreads his arms and yells, "Elbonians hear me! You must end your futile civil war." Dilbert gestures toward a pig and continues, "You've been loving your animals and fighting each other. A civilized country should slaughter the animals and simply discriminate economically against each other!" Dilbert asks an Elbonian, "How did my speech go over?" The Elbonian points to the pig and says, "I'm sold, but I think the Secretary of State was a bit put off."