Artificial Intelligemce Comic Strips - Page 1
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
64 Results for Artificial Intelligemce
View 1 - 10 results for artificial intelligemce comic strips. Discover the best "Artificial Intelligemce" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 10,
2015
Elon Musk Fears Ai
Tags artificial intelligence, etiquette & ethics, misanthropy, technology, elon musk, artificial intelligemce, humankind
Transcript
Asok: Elon Musk is worried that artificial intelligence will destroy mankind. Coworker: Why would you pay attention to him? What's he ever done? Asok: Stop making root for A.I. Coworker: And what planet is this "Elon" guy from, anyway?
Wednesday November 09,
2016
Don't Harm The Artificial Soul
Tags soul, drone, artificial intelligence, frustration, death, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: Pay no attention to the drone. That's where I keep my artificial soul. It's still in beta, so please don't say anything that might harm it. Boss: Let's go around the room and give our project updates. Drone: Pow!
Thursday September 10,
2020
Artificial Dumbness
Tags business, cell phone, managers & supervisors, technology, software, invention, artificial, dumb, human, face mask
Transcript
dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.
Tuesday August 04,
1992
Tags office workers, Dilbert, Wally, the boss, understand, sleep, sleep deprivation, Food, starve, artificial, deadline, ergle, flumg, muddle brained, incomprehensible, division, manager
Transcript
The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."
Saturday August 12,
1995
Tags dropped everything, career plan development, artificial emergency, ping pong ball, fax
Transcript
Dilbert hands a document to the Boss, who is seated at his desk. Dilbert says, "As you requested, I dropped everything and wrote my career development plan." The Boss reads from the plan, "I plan to bounce from one artificial emergency to another, like a ping-pong ball in a clothes dryer, until one day I resign." Dilbert says, "Here I'm using humor to make a point . . ." The Boss yells, "Fax this to HR now!!"
Thursday June 13,
1996
Tags artificial urgency, gibberish, god news, mission, objectives uncler, insane but happy
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"
Sunday April 11,
1993
Tags alice, artificial, band, creatures, Dogbert, dominant, dominants, engineers, envelopes, females, gray, groom, mist, native, note, the boss, vegetation
Transcript
Dogbert's journal entry says, "A small band of the creatures were known to live high in an artificial structure." The panel shows an office building. Dogbert's journal says, "On my way to study them I took note of the native vegetation." Dogbert stands in an office wearing a backpack. He feels a potted plant and thinks, "Rented." His journal says, "The younger males were at play. They became self-conscious when watched." Dogbert watches a man playing computer games. Dogbert's journal says, "The dominant male had a gray back. He controlled the others by waving little envelopes." The Boss waves paychecks at the employees and they bow to him. Dogbert's journal says, "There were few females in the group. The less dominant males had no chance of mating." Dilbert and Wally watch a woman walk past them. Dogbert's journal syas, "Unlike other species they head no instinct for grooming." A man asks, "Want to groom?" Wally replies, "Drop dead." The journal says, "My time was up, but I will miss them, those . . ." Dogbert walks toward the elevator. The journal concludes, "Engineers in the mist." Wally asks Dilbert, "How long are you supposed to microwave popcorn?"
Sunday April 23,
1995
Tags turning est, artificial software, repsonse, on screen, computer, staretgy, visonize, enhance earnings, motivate emplyees, improve focus, opportunity, opinions, redefine, technology
Transcript
A man tells Dilbert, "You'll be performing a 'Turing test' on our new artificial intelligence software." Dilbert sits at a desk. The researcher continues, "Try to determine if the responses on your screen come from our computer or a human in the next room." Dilbert says, "I'll ask it to write a strategy for our company." The computer responds, "Our strategy is to visionize quality resources that enhance earnings." Dilbert thinks, "Hmm." Dilbert says, "I'll ask it how to motivate employees." The computer response says, "Reorganize often to improve focus. Redefine work as 'opportunity' and increase it daily. Take time to ask for opinions then explain why they're wrong." Dilbert tells the researcher, "It must be a computer because there's no human intelligence. Unless . . ." Dilbert looks into the next room and sees the Boss sitting at a computer. Dilbert says, "Nice try, boss."
Sunday December 17,
1995
Tags taken vacation, use vacation days, work 7 days a week, year end review, artificial project, vacation target, mutually exclusive goal, frustration
Transcript
The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Alice, our records show that you haven't taken a vacation all year." The Boss continues, "Company policy requires you to use your vacation days." Alice says, "How?? You told me to work seven days a week to prepare the project for your boss's year-end review." Alice asks, "Do you want me to meet the artificial project target or the artificial vacation target?" Alice stands up and screams, "Hello!!! These are mutually exclusive goals!!! Hello!!!" Alice says, "Ooh . . . Sorry, I usually just think that last part in silent frustration." The Boss says, "Moving right along . . . Kudos to Wally for using all of his vacation days ahead of schedule." Alice looks furious. Wally says, "Get over it, Alice. We can't all be superstars."
Thursday December 11,
2003
Tags insincere optimism, artificial sense of urgency, delusion, work for challenge, not money, good ideas, sound bad
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm developing an insincere optimism to complement my artificial sense of urgency. Dilbert: I hope to top it off with a delusion that I work for the challenge and not the money. The Boss: How can you make good ideas sound so bad? Dilbert: Im an engineer.