Ask The Intern Comic Strips - Page 1

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View 1 - 10 results for ask the intern comic strips. Discover the best "Ask The Intern" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #assignments, #gain experince, #mouse pad inventory, #status

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Dilbert says to Asok, "As an intern, your assignments won't be as glamorous as mine, but you'll gain experience." The Boss peers into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I need a status report on the mouse pad inventory." Dilbert says to Asok, "See? My assignment has the word 'status' built right in." Asok looks worried and thinks, "Danger! Alert!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #energency, #crawl through wall, #star trek, #spank the intern, #shut furnace

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Alice peers into Asok's cubicle and says, "Asok, come quickly! It's an emergency!" Alice and Asok stand in front of a heating duct. Alice says, "You must crawl through the Jeffries tube and shut down the furnace before it fries us all!" Asok's legs stick protrude from the heating duct. Alice holds a sign that says, "Spank the intern $0.50." Alice says to Dilbert, "Today young Asok learns that life is NOT like 'Star Trek.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #asok, #intern, #indian institute of technology, #30 years in box, #punished to box

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Man says, "Asok, you have violated the Indian Institute of Technology's ban on the use of telekinesis in the ungifted world." Man says, "Your punishment is 30 years in the box." Dilbert says, "Where were you this morning?" Asok The Intern says, "Grrrrr"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #buzzing of flies, #channel irrational impulse, #coffe machine broken, #confusion, #ignoring, #intern, #nervousness, #talking, #thirst for coffeee, #vp of engineering

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Asok thinks, "It's our vice president of engineering." Asok says, "Hello. I am Asok the intern, may I tell you about an idea I have?" Wally says, "Vice presidents can't hear us, Asok. To them, our voices sound like the faint buzzing of flies." Wally says, "If you want to give him your idea you have to do it indirectly." Wally says, "Tell someone who knows someone, who know's someone else, who knows the vice president." Wally says, "Or do what I do and channel your irrational impulse to be useful into an unquenchable thirst for coffee." Asok says, "So...What are you helping me?" Wally says, "The coffee machine is broken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #intern, #test pilot, #new moon, #shuttle prototype, #wiser, #monkey on first flight

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The Boss: "Asok, I need an intern to test-pilot our new moon shuttle prototype." Asok: "Wouldn't it be wiser to send a monkey on the first flight?" The Boss: "You're thinking of the second flight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

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The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #new senior engineer, #ready for promotion, #5 year intern, #mean, #unfair, #poor business model, #department won't grow, #train new guy

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Asok: "I heard that you got approval to hire a new Senior Engineer." "As an intern, I have performed all the functions of a Senior Engineer for the past five years. I am now ready for promotion." The Boss: "I plan to hire someone from outside the company." "Must control tiny fists of intern fury." The Boss: "I have the approval to fill the Senior Engineer position but there's a ban on hiring new interns." "So, if I promote you, my empire... oops... I mean my department won't grow." Ask: "Gaaaa! My despair has turned into a searing psychological pain! Ow ow ow!" "That reminds me, I need you to train the new guy."

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

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Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

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Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #office workers, #mindless task, #intern, #time, #little value, #jump out, #nice way to say

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Dilbert: Asok, there's no nice way to say this... do this mindless task for me because you're nothing but an intern and your time has very little value. Asok: There probably was a nice way to say that. Dilbert: It didn't jump out.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #office equipment, #prototype, #traffic, #traffic load test, #ask lab, #didn't ask lab

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Boss: Did you ask the lab if they have a way to test traffic loads on our prototype? Dilbert: I met with them for an hour and explained that we need traffic load tests. Boss: But you didn't actually ask if they could do the tests? Dilbert: Well... no... but... it's their job to do the tests. And they would have mentioned it if they didn't have a way to do it. Boss: But you didn't ask. Dilbert: That was the context of the meeting. If they couldn't do that sort of test they would have mentioned it sometime during our hour together. Boss: Maybe you should ask. Dilbert: Gaa!! Okay! I'll ask! Are you freakin' kidding me?!! Man: I wondered why you didn't ask.