Avoid Mistakes Comic Strips - Page 1

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127 Results for Avoid Mistakes

View 1 - 10 results for avoid mistakes comic strips. Discover the best "Avoid Mistakes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #shoddy mistakes, #meeting, #avoid mistakes, #documented process, #keep hearing, #business

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The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #avoid completing, #do it right, #does anything, #fear of mistakes, #higher quality, #inspire, #morale low, #new philosophy, #paralyzed, #punish anybody, #realize mistakes, #value opinion, #victims

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Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new philosophy is 'We do it right the first time.'" The Boss continues, "This will inspire you to higher quality because you'll realize mistakes are not tolerated." Dilbert says, "Question." Dilbert asks, "Since mistakes are inevitable, wouldn't your philosophy

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business

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The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exhaustion / tiredness, #office workers, #peak efficeincy, #brain, #peak effiency, #not working

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Dilbert: My brain isn't working at its peak efficiency this afternoon. Common sense says I should go home early to avoid making any mistakes that would be bad for the company. Unless... nothing I... do is important. Boss: Sounds like your brain is back to its peak efficiency.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #saving & investment, #intentional billing errors, #honest mistakes, #maintain bonuses, #pipelien, #new errors, #pension algorythm, #money

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Carol: Once again, our only profitable line of business is "intentional billing errors." It started as a series of honest mistakes. Now it's the only way we can maintain our bonuses. Boss: Do we have anything better in the pipeline? Carol: R&D is testing some new errors for our pension algorithm.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2011's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #obliviousness, #hired consultant, #less confident, #overconfident people, #don't recognize mistakes, #didn't know studies, #feel like idiot

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Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #item, #vacation, #increments, #regular, #work, #days, #vacations, #avoid, #assignments, #minutes, #cough, #better, #take, #some, #sick, #time

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Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Ted, can you explain number two?" Ted replies, "No. I'm on vacation." Ted explains, "I take my vacations in ten minute increments during regular work days. That way I can avoid assignments." Dilbert says, "Your ten minutes are up." Ted coughs and says, "Whoa, I'd better take some sick time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #lie, #detector, #flushed, #goldfish, #abe lincoln, #president, #mistakes

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Dogbert attaches wires to Dogbert's paws and head and says, "This lie detector will determine if you flushed my goldfish." Dilbert asks, "Name?" Dogbert answers, "Abe Lincoln." Dilbert asks, "Occupation?" Dogbert answers, "President." Dilbert asks, "Did you kill my fish?" Dogbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "Lie detectors never make mistakes, do they?" Dilbert looks at the printout and says, "Uh . . . No, Mister President."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #vegetarians, #march, #capitol, #protest, #killing, #animals, #mile, #drive, #letters, #revolution, #people, #only, #plastic, #wooden, #shoes, #avoid, #Dilbert

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Dogbert stands on a ladder and addresses a crowd. Dogbert says, "Vegetarians, we must march to the capitol to protest the killing of animals!" A man in the audience says, "That's a mile away." Another man asks, "Can we drive instead?" A woman asks, "Or maybe write letters?" Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Never lead a revolution of people who only own plastic and wooden shoes." Dilbert replies, "I try to avoid it."