Bad For Business Comic Strips - Page 1

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View 1 - 10 results for bad for business comic strips. Discover the best "Bad For Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2012's comic on:


Tags #civil liberties, #internet & world wide web, #internet law, #bad for business, #press relase, #impinge, #freedom of speech, #selfish liars

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Boss: Our company opposes passage of the new internet law because it would be bad for our business. But that sounds selfish, so we'll issue a press release saying the new law would impinge freedom of speech. Alice: So... we're selfish liars? Boss: You can't get more free than that!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #headquarters, #chucks looking unhappy, #big guy, #bad decisions, #some bodies, #changes will allow, #core business

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The caption says, "Headquarters." Three executives sit at a conference table. One says to the man next to him, "Hey, Chuck's looking unhappy today. What's the problem, big guy?" Chuck says, "All of my bad decisions are catching up to me. Could we do another reorg to cover my tracks?" The third executive says, "Yeah, I've got some bodies to bury, too." Back at the office, the Boss reads a document aloud to Dilbert and Wally, ". . . These changes will allow us to focus on our core business." Wally walks away saying, "Whoa! Let me get my reorg boots."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2011's comic on:


Tags #appeal, #bad person, #business ethics, #comparison shopping, #guilt, #molt, #prevents competitors, #raising prices

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Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2011's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #couldn't be worse, #bad idea, #Funny, #project is bad idea, #business

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The Boss says, "How's everything going?" Dilbert says, "It couldn't be worse." Dilbert says, "I was the only person who said this project is a bad idea. Then you assigned it to me." The Boss says, "It's funnier when I make them say it." Dilbert says, "Grrrr"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #bad time, #governments unemployment stats, #look for job, #managers & supervisors, #new job, #employment, #business

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The Boss says, "The government's new unemployment statistics are out." The Boss says, "It's still a bad time to look for a job." Dilbert says, "Yeah. I got that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #proactive, #send email, #bad time management, #creating illuson, #sarcasm, #crazy boss, #business

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The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #fraternization, #bad haircut, #poor font choice, #hand sanitizer, #substance over style

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Alice: I'm judging the quality of your business case by your bad haircut and your poor font choice. I plan to use a quart of hand sanitizer when I'm done touching your document. Man: I value substance over style. Alice: How's that working out?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #comparing a task, #criticism, #employees, #executives, #quality is bad, #your imagination, #time, #quality, #boss, #business

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Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #wealth, #ceo, #good job, #50 million dollar bonus, #not motivated, #bad genes, #inequality, #dosaprity, #ceo and worker, #unfair wages, #crazy money, #slave wages, #more work, #no rewards, #money

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Carol: What does our CEO get if he does a good job? Boss: A fifty million dollar bonus. Carol: What do I get if I do a good job? Boss: More work. Carol: What's your best guess about why I'm not motivated? Boss: Bad genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.